Tag Archives: Ukraine

Russia Watcher’s Phrasebook

Anti-Russian: Anti-Kremlin

Pro-Russian: Guess…


1. Disagrees with Kremlin line.

2. A person who is just as much an asshole as a pro-Kremlin chauvinist, but from a nation that has a historical beef with Russia.

Russophile: A person who loves Russia and the Russian people so much they extol the superiority of Russian culture while simultaneously telling everyone how Russians are innately backward savages who require a strong hand to keep them in order.

The Western (mainstream) media:

1. Any news outlet that criticizes the Kremlin’s policies at home or abroad.

2. An obscure blog being cited as a source by Russian media. May possibly be linked to the Russian media or government.

The Polish media: Obzervator Polityczny.

Whataboutery: The go-to argument for Kremlin defenders everywhere.

Moral equivalence: Used by defenders of Western status quo when an argument isn’t actually whataboutery and is in fact an apt comparison. Basically means: “Yes we do that but it’s different because we have better intentions, or something.”

Soviet Union: Russia.

RT: A satellite TV network that could have been a respectable alternative media outlet but ended up turning into a propaganda mouthpiece because some idiots decided they were fighting an information war.

Sputnik News: Because RT’s still too objective to fight a proper information war! Expensive too. Be careful on Twitter; Sputnik News is often indistinguishable from its own parody accounts.

Russia Insider: Because even Sputnik News turned down your writing.

Euromaidan Press: Ukraine’s equivalent to Russia Insider.

I was so inspired by Euromaidan! THE STRUGGLE IS REAL! I must fight for Ukraine's freedom from the comfort of my suburban home in Canada!

I was so inspired by Euromaidan after I saw a viral video about it on my news feed! I must fight for Ukraine’s freedom from the comfort of my suburban home in Canada! THE STRUGGLE IS REAL!


1. The single source of all negative information about Russia. Everyone in America who does not pay attention to Russian media watches CNN, and it’s all lies! There are no other sources on Russia in the West but CNN.

2. American cable news network known for repeatedly rearranging the borders of Europe and other geographical features via their graphics department. The network serves as an alternative to muzak in doctors’ offices across America.


Ukraine, or possibly Belgium, according to CNN.

Kremlin Whore: Oops! You wrote something critical of Ukraine’s government, didn’t you? Or maybe you tried to garner sympathy for Russia by writing about how kids with cancer receive tragically sub-par care while the nations’ leaders and bureaucrats live it up in luxury, exactly the type of propaganda that will generate sympathy for the Kremlin! Enjoy your blood rubles, presstitute!

State Department/NATO shill: How dare you write about corruption in Russia and the concrete consequences this has for the Russian people!

Fifth columnist/Foreign agent: Russian citizen who tries to fight or expose corruption, which of course doesn’t exist in Russia. Okay well it exists, but it exists in every country! Okay it’s much more prevalent in Russia compared to other countries but that’s because the government and bureaucracy is filled with sixth columnists!

Sixth columnist: Nameless politician or bureaucrat who cuts off utilities, cuts salaries, lays off state workers, closes schools, clinics, etc. No doubt paid directly by Obama. Putin has no idea who these people are or how to stop them. He is a great leader though, the only man who can lead Russia!

Russophrenia: The inability of a person to discern distinct, individual news outlets outside of Russia and their diverse range of pundits, analysts, and journalists. Further explanation here.

Political analyst: Dude with a webcam appearing on RT.

Western political expert: Someone who writes for Globalization Research.

Neocon: Anyone who criticizes Kremlin policy.

Anti-War activist: Someone who opposes war and militarism, unless it’s Russia, in which case militarism and war are just fine because uh…NATO encirclement!


Controversial Ukrainian hero Steve Banderas.

Controversial Ukrainian hero Steve Banderas.

1. The unit of currency of Ukraine, according to Life News (code: UAB).

2. Someone a lot of pundits suddenly heard about in late 2013/early 2014, thereafter scrambling so as to make it look as though they knew what they were talking about when discussing the subject.

3. A person who’s really not such a big deal in Ukrainian history BUT DON’T YOU EVER CRITICIZE HIM OR HIS REHABILITATION IN UKRAINE, OTHERWISE YOU’RE CLEARLY A KREMLIN WHORE WHO WANTS TO START A NEW HOLODOMOR! Stepan Bandera was the only liberal democratic nationalist in all of Central and Eastern Europe in the interwar period, and he championed anti-racism, feminism, and LGBT rights! Unless you’re a conservative who doesn’t like those things, in which case he was a fervent defender of conservative traditional values, but DEFINITELY NOT A FASCIST! 

4. Eternal president of post-Maidan Ukraine, according to some Russian press.

5. If you write for other corporate media outlets, you must refer to Bandera as a “controversial” figure and treat both sides equally. Who are you to judge? You just heard about the guy last year.

KGB propaganda: Any and all criticism of Stepan Bandera or the movements associated with him, whether they come from Americans, Jews, Poles, Ukrainians, the CIA, other Ukrainian nationalists including those who worked with Bandera, etc.


1. According to Russians, anyone who opposes Russian authority or hegemony.

2. According to Ukrainian nationalists, Russians.

Europe: According to Russian press, nothing but gays and Arabs.



America: Sinister country which uses its agents to force Russian bureaucrats and politicians to skim money out of state budgets, demand bribes, and generally rob their nation so they can fork over all the ill-gotten proceeds to American banks, real estate markets, and universities.  American agents also routinely sabotage and destroy Russian roads and other infrastructure with pickaxes.


Patriot: Asshole who is probably stealing something.

Zrada: A Ukrainian word which roughly translates into “I’m really angry because everything isn’t going my way!” See explanation here.


Sanctions: Unfair, totally pointless economic measures that will in no way harm Russia’s economy. In fact, they are actually helping Russia! They are so absurd and ridiculous the West should totally remove them as soon as humanely possible. Please.

Import substitution: Get ready for cheese made from 80% palm oil. You don’t even want to know where we’re getting the meat from.

Dill: A Russian biological weapon introduced to targets via food.

DNR/LNR (Donetsk People’s Republic/Luhansk People’s Republic): What? What are you talking about? Those are clearly territories of Ukraine! Where did you get the idea that we were engineering a separatist movement to join Russia or become a pseudo-state like the various other pseudo-states Russia has created over the years! We have nothing to do with those states! We just really think that Ukraine needs to be a federal state, even though we actually aren’t, and we constantly talk about not interfering internal affairs of other countries!

Novorossiya: Now what are you going on about? We never said anything about Novorossiya? What does a colonial territory created in the time of Catherine the Great have to do with Ukraine in 2015? Why did you even bring this up! Ukraine should be a federal state! Don’t interfere in the internal affairs of other nations! If you’ll excuse me I left something in my car.

Boris Yeltsin: 

1. Great visionary democratic leader who had absolutely nothing to do with Putin, his rise to power, or the increasing authority of the president in the Russian government. (Please ignore crushing of dissent with tanks and several bloody conflicts)

2. Pathetic drunk puppet of America and the Judeo-Masonic reptiloids who has absolutely nothing to do with the heroic savior of Russia that is Vladimir Putin.

Vladimir Putin: 

Russian president who reminded foreign journalists that there were actually serious problems in the Russian government. Putin is the savior of Russia, and the only possible leader for Russia in spite of being abandoned by his family, apparently unaware of massive, endemic corruption in his country for 15 years, and in spite of failing to produce a single possible successor in 15 years of his tenure. Without Putin, all Russians will kneel before the United States and accept colonial rule. This is thanks to his wise and great leadership!

Dmitry Medvedev: A great visionary who presided over a golden age in post-Soviet Russian history. Ignore him.

The Internet: A dastardly CIA project designed to overthrow governments.

Moscow Expats: A Facebook group which is essentially the equivalent of Yahoo! Answers. Famous for numerous “How is babby formed” style questions, spam, and bizarre arguments.

ISIS: Anything a Russian bomb hits in Syria.

Cheerleader: Insufferable self-righteous asshole “fighting” for a cause on the internet, typically outside the country they’re supporting, who demands the right to determine what is acceptable support for “the cause.” More info here.

The Russian Soul: A magical deus ex machina that allows one to avoid inconvenient arguments. e.g. “Oh but you see…You don’t understand the enigmatic Russian soul!” It is recommended that the speaker wave his or her arms in front of the listener’s face and make ghost noises after mentioning the Russian soul.

Vatnik: Putin’s main target demographic.

The Russian Press: A special investigative organ of the Russian state tasked with finding and archiving footage of gay pride parades and gay pornography and reviewing it for Russian viewers at home.

Somewhat reasonable: Applied to someone whose writing or arguments somewhat agree with your own. Wherever there is agreement, this is where your opponent is being “somewhat reasonable.” Be sure to tell them so!

Why don’t you ever write about the West?!: Yes, why is it that you, a correspondent working in Russia or someone living in Russia, dealing with Russian issues on a daily basis, possibly with family members in Russia, and having a personal stake in the future of Russia, regularly write about Russia instead of say, the United States? What? You do write about the US? Okay why don’t you only write about the US, in spite of living in Russia for years? Why do journalists even cover Russia at all?

Multi-polar world: A world in which other leading nations treat Russia, a country with an economy just under that of Italy, as though it were some kind of 19th century great power and allow it to have its own sphere of influence for no known reason whatsoever.

Sovereignty: The right of dictators to rob their own nations blind without any interference or even criticism from abroad. Null and void if you’re one of Russia’s neighbors. A nation’s sovereignty is called into question if it enacts any policy the Kremlin doesn’t like. Only by deferring to the great Russian superpower in all matters can a nation truly be considered sovereign.

Geopolitics: An outdated, nihilistic, 19th century worldview that has been adopted by out of touch pseudo-intellectuals who think global politics is basically a game of Risk.

If you think this is a guide to foreign policy, call RT right now for a guest spot!

If you think this is a guide to foreign policy, call RT right now for a guest spot!

Geopolitical expert: It’s kind of like being a World of Warcraft expert, only more obscure and less useful.

A reaction to Tom’s theories on Geopolitics

The Great Patriotic War: The most terrible war in history in which tens of millions of Soviet citizens of all nationalities perished, many of them exterminated solely for their ethnicity or religion, thousands of villages and cities were razed to the ground, and cultural wounds still felt today were created. Russia commemorates the solemn event of Victory day by totally monopolizing the Soviet struggle, making state-funded films which are insulting to veterans and actually make the Germans look better than the Red Army, dressing up little kids in soldier uniforms from a war they know nothing about, making body art, putting on a WWII-themed dog show and various other bizarre spectacles, and of course- selling shit. Russia reserves the right to lecture any other country on the topic of the Great Patriotic War, in spite of the fact that Russia is nothing like the USSR and the values of its modern government are far closer to those of Nazi Germany or Fascist Italy than the Soviet Union.

Hey I thought fascist symbols were banned in Russia!

Hey I thought fascist symbols were banned in Russia!

Vladimir Lenin: An evil German/American agent who destroyed the Russian empire, murdered the Holy Tsar and his family, and worst of all, invented Ukrainians and their language…BUT DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH ONE OF HIS STATUES YOU BANDERITE SCUM! 

Josef Stalin: A deeply religious, conservative Russian nationalist leader who put right the wrongs of Lenin (except he still inexplicably believed in the existence of Ukrainians for some reason, possibly American related) and turned the USSR into a new Russian empire in preparation for a long struggle with the American Judeo-Masonic underlings of the Reptiloids from the planet Nibiru. Stalin won WWII because of his deep faith in Russian civilization and he lit candles in St. Basil’s Cathedral every night.

Dmytro Yarosh: Fuhrer of Ukraine. Has crucified so many Russian speaking kids he made the road between Slovyansk and Kramatorsk look like the Via Appia after Spartacus’ revolt. It is believed that Yarosh stepped down from his position in Praviy Sektor so as to convert to Islam, join ISIS, and carry on the jihad against Russian children in Syria. He is now believed to be going by his new name, Damir ibn-Anatol Al-Ukrayiini.

So THAT'S who left all these dishes in the sink!

So THAT’S who left all these dishes in the sink!

Objective, impartial investigation: Any investigation that absolves Russia or its proxies of all guilt. Preferably carried out by the Russian government.

Provocation: What you call it when you shoot down a civilian airliner or shell civilian territories in the course of a war you started. Essentially, it means cowardly accusing the other side of committing the deed in question, even if this would mean deliberately shelling or murdering their own people, without making a direct accusation.

Russia prepared to recognize upcoming Tatarstan referendum


MOSCOW- Russia’s foreign minister Sergei Lavrov announced on Tuesday that his government was prepared to recognize an independent Tatar state in the event of a yes vote in that territory’s upcoming referendum. The referendum on independence was announced on Monday after armed men calling themselves the “People’s Liberation Army of Tatarstan” seized key government buildings and police arsenals in and around the regional capital of Kazan.

“Obviously we believe in self-determination and the preservation of language, which are two of the demands the rebels have mentioned,” Lavrov told reporters at a press conference held at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

“It would be ridiculous for us to support measures such as the referendum in the Crimea or the federalization of Ukraine while denying those same ideas in our own country,” the minister added.

The uprising in the Russian Federal subject of Tatarstan started one week ago in Kazan and quickly spread to other cities. Local Tatar TV stations showed videos of cossacks and Russian nationalists holding rallies in Moscow, claiming that they would soon be on the way to Tatarstan to “Russify” its institutions and population. In response, the Tatar-speaking population formed “self-defense” groups and started raiding police and military depots in the region. Some Russian sources have repeatedly alleged that Turkish special forces personnel have been arming and training the rebels, a claim which Ankara has repeatedly denied. Russia’s foreign ministry issued a statement saying that it was satisfied with Ankara’s explanation.

Tatar rebel in Kazan.

Tatar rebel in Kazan.

President Putin has yet to comment on the uprising, but Dmitry Peskov did field reporters’ questions at an impromptu press conference held on Monday.

When asked about the possibility of a Russian military campaign to put down the rebellion, Peskov called the idea “preposterous.”

“You must be confusing us with the Ukrainian government,” Peskov said. “We are not going to mount some kind of punitive military campaign against our own people even if they start an armed uprising with the help of foreign military forces and outside funding, all for the purposes of separating part of our country or at best, radically changing our constitution.”

Meanwhile in Kazan, the self-proclaimed “Khan” of the provisional government, Marat Abdullaev, announced that the referendum on independence would be held in three weeks.

“Soon we will make our voice known as one people,” Abdullaev told reporters while holding a Turkish license built G3 rifle. “We shall decide whether we wish to become a part of the Turkish Republic, or if we want full independence with the option of joining Turkey at a later date.”

Some sources have alleged that these are actually Turkish special forces troops rather than local militias. Both Ankara and Moscow agree that there are no Turkish troops in Tatarstan, and that the armed men in this photo bought their uniforms from local surplus stores.

Some sources have alleged that these are actually Turkish special forces troops rather than local militias. Both Ankara and Moscow agree that there are no Turkish troops in Tatarstan, and that the armed men in this photo bought their uniforms from local surplus stores.

Meanwhile spokespeople from the US State Department could not be reached for comment, but a receptionist told our correspondent that upon hearing the news numerous US diplomatic officials began drinking heavily, having “existential crises,” and “generally questioning the very concept of reality itself.”

When asked to comment on the State Department’s strange response to Russia’s reaction, Lavrov told reporters that he was surprised by it.

“What is so strange about our response to this crisis in Kazan? It’s almost as if they are shocked that Russia’s position could be so consistent, and I find that personally offensive.”

Professor Willywhisk’s Whimsical Invention!

“Oh would you just get on with it already,” said Dr. Caruthers as he tired of watching Dr. Wendell M. Willywhisk busy himself about with his latest invention.

“All in good time, my dear doctor, all in good time,” professor Willywhisk replied.

Besides Dr. Caruthers, four other professors from Britain’s most prestigious institutes of higher learning were present to watch Dr. Willywhisk make what he promised were the “final adjustments” to his new device. That device, whatever it was, was sitting on a table in the middle of professor Willywhisk’s drawing room. All his guests could see was some kind of bulky object covered by a white sheet. The professor carefully moved his hands under the sheet so as to make the needed adjustments without revealing so much as a peek to his guests.


“Almost there,” the eccentric professor said.

The guests grew quieter. Caruthers began to twirl the end of his imperial mustache.

“That’s it!”

The professor removed his hands from under the sheet and positioned himself next to the table.

“Gentlemen! Esteemed colleagues! Fellow seekers of knowledge! I give you one of the most extraordinary inventions of all time! I call it…UKRAINE!”

With that, the professor whipped away the sheet to reveal a strange, roughly diamond shaped solid mass in the center of the table. Attached to the bottom point was a sort of small rhomboid shape. The bottom half of this mass, closest to the spectators, was yellow, and the top half a light blue.  All the guests, Dr. Caruthers included, were taken aback at the sight of this unusual object. Suddenly one of the guests, a professor Dillings from Cambridge, took the pipe from his mouth and ventured to break the silence.

“What exactly does the Ukraine do?”

“Oh you mustn’t call it the Ukraine,” professor Willywhisk replied. “It is only a Ukraine, this Ukraine, or Ukraine! Never the Ukraine!”

“Very well then, professor. What does this Ukraine do?”

A most curious device...

A most curious device…

“Ah I am so glad you asked! You see, gentlemen, I invented the…this Ukraine, for a special purpose. With Ukraine, one can tell if a leftist is actually ideologically consistent, and whether or not they posses critical thinking ability.”

“Oh nonsense,” Caruthers sudenly burst forth. “No invention could ever tell you any such thing! Not my steam-powered thinking machine, not Dr. Wiggens’ gyrocoptic discombobulator, nothing! It is a scientific impossibility to build such a device! It is folly!”

Professor Willywhisk was totally unperturbed. He’d planned for this months in advance.

“I should have known you’d be a doubting Thomas, my dearest of dear colleagues! That’s why I prepared a little experiment. Shall we give it a go?”

With that, professor Willywhisk turned toward the door leading to the corridor.

“Oh Jeremy? Would you be so kind as to join us now?”

Just then a young man wearing the strangest clothes walked in. He had on what appeared to be some sort of lightweight military garment, and what must have been a cotton shirt of some kind underneath that unbuttoned garment. This undershirt bore a strange red and black image of an angry young man with a bushy bear and a black beret on his head. His nostrils were flared in a look of utter defiance.

“Jeremy, please stand over here, by the table, if you would.”

The young man did as he was told.

“Now, gentlemen,” professor Willywhisk said, “Prepare to be amazed.”

He turned toward the young man and said, “Jeremy, look at this device on the table. It is called Ukraine. Look at it and tell me what you see.”

The young man began to stare at the device on the table. He cocked his head to one side, then to the other. It was clear he had no actual knowledge about this device.

A smirk came over Dr. Caruthers’ face.

“Well gentlemen,” the esteemed Caruthers said to his fellow guests, “It appears we have been summoned here for nothing. You always were an eccentric, Wendell.”

He turned towards the door, and the other guests began to follow suit. Just then, the young man began talking excitedly.

“The US and European Union overthrew the legitimate Ukrainian government because it was opposing their plans to expand the influence of the IMF, Monsanto, and to spread their neo-liberal privatization schemes! President Putin stands up to the West and neo-liberal economics! That’s the only reason he is constantly demonized in the Western media! The Ukrainian government is run by NATO-loving fascists who are murdering the innocent children of the Donbass! We must uncritically support the Novorossiyan people who stand against fascism and neo-liberalism…”

“It’s amazing,” Caruthers exclaimed as the young man simply went on talking.

“Indeed,” professor Dillings said.

“Do you not see, gentlemen? The subject has no idea what he is talking about. He speaks neither Ukrainian nor Russian. He has never visited any such land. And yet when he comes in contact with this device, he can suddenly lecture on, indefinitely, about a subject he clearly knows nothing about. And with total confidence, no less!”

The guests stood speechless as the test subject continued to drone on about the IMF, Monsanto, NATO, the EU, anti-imperialism, and fascist Nazi juntas.

“There you have it, gentlemen,” professor Willywhisk proclaimed triumphantly. “The device works as designed. This young leftist agitator has no critical thinking skills, thinks in primitive, binary false dichotomies, and is totally willing to drone on about subjects he knows nothing about! And we know this all thanks to my device- the…er…thisUkraine!

A round of applause arose from the guests.

“Well done, old chap,” Caruthers said, clapping his hands. “Well done indeed. Shall we all retire to the smoking room for a well deserved glass of brandy.”

“We shall, my dear friend,” professor Willywhisk replied.

The learned men filed out of the room, leaving only the young man standing next to the device on the table, still babbling on about the “anti-fascist struggle of Novorossiya,” and how “Russian imperialism is actually imperialism of a new type, with a progressive nature insofar as it stands opposed to the more powerful American/NATO hegemonic imperialism.”


Anyone remember this hilarious article about a propaganda-filled press junket to Moscow? Well guess what- Russia’s doubling down with a new press junket to Donetsk! Check it out:

A private Russian citizens’ initiative whose goal is to provide information about the Ukraine war not covered in the western media, is organizing a press tour to the Donbass and Moscow in the second half of March. The invitation is open to all journalists and bloggers, mainstream and alternative.

Hmmm… A “private Russian citizens’ initiative.”  That’s interesting. I’m sure there is no reason why I should be suspicious that his might be another government-backed propaganda ploy. After all, Russia is just full of well-funded citizens’ initiatives which have the money to pay for things like this. Oh…Wait…No.  Well maybe I’m wrong. Let’s take a look.

I am acquainted with the company organizing the tour, Europa Objectiv, and their CEO Andrei Stepanenko, and can confirm that they are a legitimate group and reliable people. They publish a German language news site providing news and analysis about what is going on in the Ukraine. http://www.europaobjektiv.com. Andrei asked me to share this information with our readership. Here is the announcement on their site in German.

They stress that they are a completely private initiative not funded by the Russian government, and from what I know about them, I believe this to be accurate, however, I should add the disclaimer that I cannot, obviously, confirm this absolutely.

There are a lot of these citizen initiatives in Russia, often organized by Russians frustrated with government policies they see as too hesitant, and many of them really are what they say they are. In the end analysis, I don’t think this is a critical issue. Participants should be aware that this group has a point of view they are trying to share, and factor that in to their reporting.

Wow. Trying hard enough there, buddy? At first I was skeptical but then he assured me that they really are what they say they are and it’s not a critical issue anyway. So yeah, I’m totally sold that there’s a well financed group in Russia with enough money to hook up something like this and that it is organized by people who are frustrated with the “too hesitant” government.  Totally plausible.

Looking at the German site, it’s pretty obvious that this is one of those possibly far-right wing pro-Russia organizations. Isn’t it a happy coincidence that their ideology just happens to line up with that of the Kremlin, in spite of the fact that it is totally not funded by the Russian government in any way?

What follows comes from the organization’s letter about the tour. Let’s take a look at their itinerary.

On the first day you will be able to meet with prominent Russian political scientists, experts on Ukraine, politicians, and hear their opinions on Ukraine crisis.

Oh wow, prominent Russian political scientists and experts on Ukraine! I wonder if this includes any of the brilliant minds who predicted that America would collapse years ago, or that the Ukrainian language was invented by Poland and Austro-Hungary! I’m sure we’ll get a broad range of opinions on the topic and by no means hear a litany about how the Ukrainians, who don’t really exist of course, are nothing but whores who sell-out to the West instead of standing up for themselves by becoming part of a new Russian empire.  Sounds to me like the guests will be in for a round of lecturing by “geopolitical experts,” also known as the people who don’t actually understand how the world works.  Be sure to bring your Geopolitical Expert Bingo Cards!


On the second day you will be able to see the exclusive video footages, photo and audio recordings captured by Russian journalists since the beginning of the Ukraine crisis, which have never been broadcasted by the western mass media. Furthermore we’ll organize the meeting with the authors of these materials. You can freely use them to create your own materials.

Gee, I wonder if some of that material has never been shown in the West because it was obviously faked, just like the “satellite photos” that showed a Ukrainian Mig-29 shooting down MH17, or the footage of the woman who claimed that she saw Ukrainian soldiers crucify a young boy, or dozens of other fake photos, stories, and videos.

Naaaah. It must be because the entire Western media is controlled by Barack Obama. Think I’m joking? Keep reading.

Stage 2 – Donbas – (2 days, by request)

– we plan to meet with representatives of Donbas militia troops

– you will be able to talk to local citizens

– authorities of the self-proclaimed Donetsk People’s Republic take over security issues and the possibility of maximum freedom of movement in Donetsk. As well as in Moscow “Europa Objektiv” will make video and audio recordings, these footages you can also use to create your own materials.

Obviously they will choose which citizens and militia members you can talk to. With no Russian skills, it will be next to impossible to know whether you’re talking to a local or someone from Russia. The Russian press has already been busted for using actors or actresses to pose as ordinary civilians. I’m sure this time they’ll do nothing of the sort.

The aim of the press tour:

– to provide exclusive video and photo materials for alternative mass media in Europe

– to enable journalists to witness the truth about the events taking place in Donbas, to communicate with the victims of the war in the East Ukraine, to make your own decision about the reasons of the war in the contemporary Europe, to show the world community the facts, that are hidden by the mass media controlled by the current U.S. administration: the bloody revolution on the Maidan in Kiev, glorification and rebirth of the fascism in Ukraine, the reasons of the rebellion of the civil population in the East Ukraine.

Yup, this is just to give journalists a totally objective view. An objective view of the bloody Nazi Maidan revolution that led to the crucifixion of Russian infants all the way to Kharkiv, that is! Am I the only one who finds it hilarious that these people can’t even try to hide their agenda even as they are claiming that they just want people to make up their own minds? What do you think these people would say if the EU or US funded a press junket to Kiev and the Ukrainian cities that have suffered shelling at the hands of the separatists? I can tell you their pitch would be a lot less blatant and yet these geopolitical jackasses would still be screaming “IIIIIIINFOOOOOORMAAAAAATIOOOON WAAAAAR!”  

Seriously- “Bloody” Maidan revolution? Most of the blood spilled was that of the protesters, and even that was no more than maybe 100 people. And remember what I said about Obama controlling the media? Well there it is in black and white. They say that the Western media is hiding facts at the behest of the Obama administration. That’s right, Obama controls not only private news corporations in the US, but he also controls outlets like The Guardian and the BBC.

Below I’d like to include a list of articles which apparently managed to slip past Obama’s censors.

Which Ukraine? by Sophie Pinkham in The New Yorker

Thousands of Ukraine nationalists march in Kiev  AFP

The untold story of the Maidan massacre by Gabriel Gatehouse BBC

Remember, readers, the Western media doesn’t report on this stuff! It’s all controlled by the White House! It doesn’t fit the narrative.

One year on: where are the far-right forces of Ukraine? Channel 4, UK

Ukraine’s Struggle Endangers Its Democracy Matthew Kupfer

The Western media never criticizes Maidan or the Ukrainian government! Obama won’t allow you to read that!

Is western media coverage of the Ukraine crisis anti-Russian?  various authors, The Guardian

Ukraine conflict: ‘White power’ warrior from Sweden By Dina Newman


Ukraine arrests St. Petersburg sports columnist for treason


Three by Christopher J. Miller

Rockets reportedly kill fleeing civilians in eastern Ukraine; Kyiv, insurgents swap blame

Civilians Caught In Crossfire: Safer to stay home or leave?

Ukraine denies using artillery in cities despite mounting evidence


Okay I think I’ve made my point there. I could go on, posting dozens of articles from other Western media sources which either take a critical look at the Ukrainian government or report on the suffering of civilians in the separatist controlled areas. What I can’t do, however, is find any articles by any pro-Kremlin outlet which gives us a more even-handed narrative of Maidan or criticizes the annexation of the Crimea and the separatists. What you will also not find coming from the Western media are phony eyewitness stories told by actresses or deliberately photoshopped or misrepresented photos.

So yeah, please tell me how this is all about letting journalists make up their own mind. These people don’t even try.

UPDATE: Today the hard-hitting journalists at Russia’s Life News brought us a breaking story about black mercenaries fighting on the Ukrainian side. According to these totally believable reports, they were drunk and dancing on top of their tanks. Totally not racist.

Life News is not state run, but it is owned by a die-hard Putin supporter and close friend of the Kremlin. Keep this in mind next time you read something about a Russian “private citizens’ initiative” that has plenty of money to throw around.