Tag Archives: nutjobs

RT Comment Masterpieces

Hello Dear Readers,

In today’s special presentation, we shall be examining, critiquing, and exploring the themes, style, and prose of some of the finest comments from RT.com

The three samples in this critical examination were taken from a story chosen at random from RT’s front page, in this case a story about the Cliven Bundy fiasco in the state of Nevada.

The first piece we will be examining comes from author Emmett.

“The US is now a police state so naturally the gov’t sees nothing wrong with them pointing their guns at citizens who dare to disobey their doers.

The gov’t commit a lot of crimes and it runs the gambit from murder to theft. The FBI need to investigate who stole gold of American people from Ft. Knox and replaced it with gold-plated tungsten bars.”

I would say that the most overt theme in this piece is that of sheer rage, but there is a certain stereotype which considers anger to be a consistent and running theme in nearly all RT comments. What makes this particular offering unique is the more subtle themes of betrayal, mystery, and curiosity. When we read it, our initial rage at the government is replaced by a general unease as the author raises the question of stolen gold being replaced by gold-plated tungsten bars.  In this way the reader is drawn into the narrative and forced to confront this pressing question. We wonder if the mystery of the missing gold will ever be solved.  Then again, we must also consider that the stolen gold and the tungsten may in fact be metaphors. The former possibly represents our youthful, idealistic dreams, which are “stolen” by time itself. The gold plated tungsten bars signify an adult life which appears to have the same luster on the outside, yet on the inside it is grey and extremely dense.  If this interpretation is indeed correct, we might be tempted to ask whether we ever truly achieve our dreams as we grow up? Or do we merely maintain a brilliant facade which conceals internal mediocrity?

From the same story we get a more cutting edge, post-modern, and brazenly controversial offering from one “A. Smith.”

“Without the large numbers of well armed USA Citizens militia members at the Bundy Ranch, the Zionist corrupted Obama Whitehouse would have certainly generated another Wacco Texas massacre to further frighten and crush the American spirit which opposes the Obama PoliceState and the criminal Obama actions to crush, abuse and remove the USA Bill of Rights and the USA Constitution.

Armed Resistance is the Answer to the wicked Zionists who prey on their victims with impunity when they are unarmed women, children time and time again.

Impe ach Obama NOW”

Here it’s clear that the author’s style is supposed to mirror his emotional state. It is chaotic, aggressive, and rebellious.  The rules of spelling, grammar, and syntax are cast down, unleashing the full force of the author’s rage. He confronts us and demands an answer as to why he should follow our society’s rules.  Just when we think that we are starting to grasp the strands of his thoughts and gather them into something of a coherent ideology, he turns the tables on us by making the cryptic demand to “Impe ach Obama NOW.”  A guttural, instinctive interpretation would suggest that he is saying Obama should be impeached, but both misspelling and arbitrarily dividing the word into “Impe ach” may conceal a deeper, hidden meaning. “NOW” conveys urgency of course.  Perhaps the mystery can be explained if we could bring ourselves to accept that Obama in this piece, is actually nothing more than a metaphor for ourselves.  In essence, we are all Obama.

Commentator “Sean” is a classical practitioner of the “minimalist” school of commenting.

So the bullies don’ get their way now they resort to threats. 
USA=dictatorshi p.”

It was Shakespeare who once said, “Brevity is the soul of wit.” Sean’s comment is a perfect example of this. Yet short though it may be, the author still manages to inject some character into the offering by writing in a dialect which makes the one complete sentence sound as if it sprang from the mouth of a wise old Southern grandfather figure. One can easily imagine that comment being read by Morgan Freeman or James Earl Jones.  If the first line is a succulent cut of filet mignon, the second line is the creme brulee for dessert. Here the author challenges the commonly accepted notion that minimalist style is devoid of prosaic flourishes as haiku is devoid of metaphors.  What was true of 90’s-era minimalism simply isn’t true in post-minimalist style, which eschews not only standard grammatical conventions but even letters themselves.  The definite article “the” is discarded so as to focus all attention on the subject, the USA.  An equals sign connects the two nouns of the sentence.  The unnecessary space right before the final ‘p’ in dictatorship forces us to pause and take a breath just before we complete the word and the line’s central idea.