A Parable

You’ve been interested in socialist politics for a long time. You’ve read a lot but you’ve still been on the sidelines all this time. You decide it’s time to actually start doing something about it. Thus you do some research and decide to go to your first real socialist meeting.

When you arrive, you find a room with about a dozen males in it, all repeatedly punching themselves in the balls. You think you might have made a mistake.

“I’m here for the socialist meeting, I think I might be in the wrong place,” you say, secretly horrified.

“No, you’re not,” one of them replies, wincing each time his fist connects with his own testicles. “This is the place.”

“Why are you all punching yourselves in the balls,” you logically ask.

One of them seems offended. Not offended enough to stop punching himself in the nuts every few seconds, but he’s clearly upset.

“What are you talking about? We are advancing the cause of socialist revolution!”

“By punching yourselves in the nuts,” you ask.

“We aren’t punching ourselves in the nuts, as you say,” another puncher replies. “We are fighting for socialism. We’re revolutionaries. This is how you fight for socialist revolution. Won’t you join us?”

Not terribly inclined toward the idea of punching yourself in the balls repeatedly for at least an hour, you politely decline and say that this doesn’t seem like a viable way of achieving socialism, or any political change, in fact.

“WHAT?!” One of them exclaims, almost breaking the rhythm of punching himself in the testicles.

“You’re an anti-Communist! You believe all the CIA propaganda!”

“What are you talking about,” you ask, dumbfounded. “I just don’t want to sit in a room punching myself in the testicles. I don’t see how that’s socialism. I’m quite certain that there are a lot of other approaches to socialism.

“TROT!” one of the occupants yells, just as his fist connects solidly with his crotch.

“I don’t know about this one, comrades,” another begins. “The only people that would reject socialism so adamantly are fascists. I think we’ve got a fascist infiltrator on our hands!”

This idea clearly resonates, because now the whole room is shouting “NAZI!” each time their fists smack their own balls. It’s insulting, but when the label is being hurled by a bunch of men sitting in a room hitting themselves in the testicle it kind of loses it’s bite. Not only are you not a Nazi, you’re not anti-socialist; you just don’t want to hit yourself in the balls over and over again. It’s very natural.

You back out and quickly leave. This can’t be it. There must be a mistake. Socialism can’t possibly be about punching yourself in the- actually no viable political ideology can be about that.

You decide to continue your search. There must be a real socialist movement out there. There must be a movement where the people care about actually achieving justice, equality, and a sustainable system that is superior to capitalism, as opposed to punching themselves in the nuts. At least you hope there is.


3 thoughts on “A Parable

  1. John Piantanida

    I know the feeling (not the balls punching). I have been a socialist since long before it was popular, for ethical reasons, not rebellion without a cause (or brain cell). Not theatre. So I saw the DSA and thought “Hey, maybe now…” But low and behold… the greeting of “Comrade” for effect and the ball punching (I call it self victimization) reminds of religion gone bad. It is just theatre for the most part. Some may believe, but when the balls hurt it is hard to focus. I think there is good that might come from it, but my balls have their own challenges. And I prefer to reserve them for a nobler cause.

  2. shkidadmin

    I forgot to say, the only movement, socialist or otherwise has to be personal. One can not join a cause and become a monolithic voice for that cause. Better we keep our individuality (and balls if we are a man, I am sure women have a similar analogy) and understand looking for an organization to guide us is what dooms us to failure. We are not a party. We are people with similar but not monolithic views. Work for the cause as you see it and believe in it, not what the leaders tell you to think. Even if you think the leaders are closer to what you believe. Follow your own heart and mind.

    1. shkidadmin

      Odd how it changed my identity… John Piantanida and shkidadmin are both me… I think it is a CIA conspiracy to negate my commentary. Or I have too many logins to keep track and a page refresh can make my identity change. Either way I know Trump is responsible. And my lawn gnomes are really Jeff Sessions and Jared Kushner monitoring my every move. I requested Ivanka and Melania, but I guess I am just not that important.

      Still, it is fun to kick Jared gnome into the neighbors yard. But he keeps coming back. I think it is the ‘Mossad Landscaping Company’ my HOA uses.

      This is fun. I see why the FOX writers get so wild with the lack of facts. With nothing to stop you, you can say anything and pretend to believe it.


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