Opsec (Operations security) is crucial in our modern, interconnected world. The Russian military seems to have just figured this out after several years of having its claims about the war in Ukraine blown to pieces thanks to Pvt. Ivanov’s selfies on his VK page.
This being the case, the Russian Ministry of Defense released a set of posters aimed at discouraging behaviors that could pose security risks (for comparison, think back to those “Loose Lips Sink Ships” posters of WWII). While they’re not as incredible as Russian/Ukrainian sci-fi pulp novel covers, they can still be amusing. For this bit I’ll be ignoring the Russian text and providing my own commentary.
“When Dima needed mission critical information, Sergei was too busy arguing about Star Wars with some pedantic fanboy from NATO. Don’t be Sergei!”
“To all the people back home, hello from the country we definitely haven’t invaded and aren’t currently occupying!”
“Don’t waste valuable time trying to recreate the famous “tank man” photo from Tiananmen Square!”
NATO SOLDIER: “This just gets better and better! Now he says he wants her to dress up like Judge Dredd and beat him while he’s tied to a chair and wearing a ball gag!”
TOP HALF: “Don’t take selfies while you’re in a hot LZ!”
BOTTOM HALF: “Don’t take dick pics during mission briefings!”
“Don’t leave your shit everywhere, especially when you’re trying to impress some woman with the dick pics that you took at an appropriate time, i.e. not during a mission briefing!”
“No, we’re not interested in your Book of Mormon, even the electronic version on your smart phone. Leave those things at home!”
“Remember, you will have plenty of time for yearbook signing AFTER WORK!”
“It pays to be a smug blonde asshole, but you may end up being stalked by a strange man wearing a Canadian tuxedo.”
“Don’t use work computers to run a Youtube gaming channel. You suck at World of Tanks anyway.”
“Somebody in this picture has his own doctrine. Can you point to them?”
“Where’s the money, Lebowski?!”
“Hello, Colonel? Yeah it’s Klimov here. That Bond guy is back again. He’s in the pump house this time.”