The Discourse: American Politics Prior to Russian Meddling

Conservative Republican: I am terribly sorry, my liberal Democrat friend, but I cannot agree with your assessment of the Obama administration. I find many of his so-called accomplishments highly specious, and dubious at best. Therefore I must express my disapproval when I see that your favored candidate, Mrs. Hillary Clinton, seems to wish to carry on with the status quo. I do believe I shall support Donald Trump, for in spite of his brash mannerisms, he does seem to be shaking things up in the political scene, and is such a shift not long overdue? I would put it to you that it is!

Liberal Democrat: I cannot agree. The country needs stability, and as I said, contrary to some of the critics on your tough yet fair Fox News channel, Obama has secured incremental growth while stabilizing the situation post-2008 collapse. I can provide you with figures you can peruse at your leisure. I think you’ll find them every bit as compelling as the facts and figures I provided you with when we last debated political matters.

Conservative Republican: Indeed I will concede your point on that. You certainly made a compelling case during that previous discussion and in spite of my party affiliation and differing political views, I cannot remain in denial about something which is supported by such irrefutable evidence. Though I must say I think I have plenty of hard data of my own to challenge your assertions regarding the Obama administration and its efficacy. If you don’t mind, good sir, I must check my phone. It appears I have some notifications.

Oh what’s this? An advertisement on my Facebook feed?

Liberal Democrat: Yes, I too seem to have a notification. And I see an ad as well. Let us both read these ads, for if we see them, we were surely targeted by Facebook’s innovative algorithms. Therefore these ads are far more likely to appeal to us and our tastes.

Seconds pass…

Conservative Republican: Maybe you want to explain why KILLARY murdered thirty Christian child sex slaves in Benghazi to please her Marxist-Fascist Muslim Kenyan usuprer master OBUMMER, you lib-cuck America-hating pansy! Get out of my country and take your Shakira law with you! FEMINISM IS CANCER AND THERE ARE ONLY TWO GENDERS!!!

Liberal Democrat: Your dog-whistle racism is coming through loud and clear, you dumb hick redneck jackass! I’m voting for Jill Stein!!!

Indistinct screaming…

Morgan Freeman: Does this sound like a comedy sketch to you? Well guess what…this is what actually happened when Russia divided America in 2016. We are at war…

 

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