Putin fan fiction

I’ve written in the past about how many viral news sites like to appropriate Putin in order to make him speak out in favor of whatever cause they happen to support. These are typically related to issues like vaccines or GMOs. Now, dear readers, this bizarre practice seems to have reached a new level of insanity.

Check out this story from a serial offender called Yournewswire.com. It claims that Putin recently survive an assassination attempt at the hands of the “New World Order.” Apparently the NWO is getting lazy these days because the best plan they could come up with was to ram the president’s apparently un-escorted car head on with another car. Not a car laden with explosives, mind you, but just a car. This was the plan to kill someone who would almost certainly be riding in the back seat…

Alright, yeah I know it’s stupid to even begin “debunking” a story that is so obviously bullshit. Had anything close to this actually happened, Moscow would probably be on lockdown and I would be packing my bags so as to escape before the the whole country goes completely bonkers. Still, it’s hard not to dissect this story. What I find fascinating about this story is how it has developed the bizarre practice of Putin appropriation.

In the past, you just pretend he represents whatever wacky political ideology you support. You’re a right wing Christian fundamentalist? So is Putin! You believe in absolute gun rights? So does Putin! You hate it when people slurp their coffee? Putin actually executed a guy for doing exactly that! This, folks, is not that. This is something different.

We have reached a point where Western Putin fanboys are now basically writing fan-fiction about their hero. I’m actually quite surprised that the author of this story didn’t include a scene where Putin, emerging from his totaled Mercedes, stands looking up at the sky and with fists clenched screams, “Is that the best you can do?! It’ll take more than that, New World Order!” If Russia is known for wacky alternative history novels, America might soon supplant it with alternative present news stories.

Some are naturally going to speculate that Yournewswire.com is some kind of Kremlin-linked Russian outlet. Personally I’m not so sure. The author with a blurry photo of himself in St. Petersburg is supposedly named Baxter Dmitry. It’s written as though Dmitry is his surname. My experience says that Russian paid trolls won’t use any Russian-sounding name or first name when they engage in their shenanigans. More importantly, I’ve never seen confirmed Russian propaganda outright fabricating Putin quotes or in this case, inventing scenarios for the president out of thin air. I suspect that such activity would be seen as potentially disloyal or harmful by the people who run such operations.

If you follow Russia news you might find Yournewswire.com “stories” popping up in your Facebook feed as related articles. Who knows what adventures they’ll cook up for the Russian president in the future? Let’s just hope they don’t take a dark turn into erotic fiction.

 

 

 

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12 thoughts on “Putin fan fiction

    1. Jim Kovpak Post author

      I realize Putin has this international media machine that has been popularizing him, but it’s still a bizarre phenomenon to project all your beliefs onto some foreign president.

      Reply
    2. Rubens Martinez

      What is it with all the childish “shirtless on a horse” comments that russophobes are obsessed about out? “Man doesn’t wear shirt in the countryside on a hot day”….fairly common for anybody who has even a passing interest in Russia and it’s people instead of attempting to troll it with gibberish from a delusionary position of mental superiority 24/7 . They seem to be more about projecting the thoughts of the western commentator in question, then actually trying to take down the considerable thoughts of Putin.

      Reply
      1. Callum C.

        It’s not about the fact that putin sometimes goes shirtless, but rather the way he popularizes himself.

        There are plenty of younger, better looking politicians out there that don’t publish shirtless photos of themselves. Putin, on the other hand, has himself photographed riding a horse and going hunting shirtless. He stages news stories of himself tranquilizing tigers, “discovering” antique vases on diving expeditions, and fighting forest fires in a helicopter.

        It’s obvious that Putin considers it important to present himself as some sort of tough, macho action hero. He spends quite a lot of government money doing so. This is not the behavior of a man who is particularly secure.

      2. Rubens Martinez

        “He stages news stories of himself tranquilizing tigers, “discovering” antique vases on diving expeditions, and fighting forest fires in a helicopter. “…….ermmmm….in all those cases he is promoting a good cause. Environmental groups have praised the efforts to save the Amur Tiger, Forest fires are a big problem in Russia..he is promoting the Emergency Ministry…there isn’t any suggestion that Putin single-handedly fighting 1000s of square kilometres of fire is going to stop it.

        Why would he then be crying when he won the 2012 election…if we are going to go down this stupid route?

        Judo is a big love of his ( how “macho” image was he trying to cultivate when his jewish judo coach died?)….and he is always speaking in events about Judo teaching you to respect your opponent…..Ukrainians could learn from this approach.

      3. Jim Kovpak Post author

        Jesus this is pathetic.

        The antique vase thing was staged. As for environment, the Moscow oblast was on fire for weeks in 2010, to the point where thick smoke actually reached the center of the city. One of the main reasons for this was the lack of infrastructure and firefighting equipment in the Moscow oblast. Last year there were massive wildfires in the Far East, but this was Moscow oblast we’re talking about here.

        Recently a group of volunteer firefighters from Greenpeace were brutally beaten by self-proclaimed cossacks in Krasnodar. So far there are no prosecutions that I know of.

        “Why would he then be crying when he won the 2012 election…if we are going to go down this stupid route?”

        Because he has the power to give himself another term and change the constitution so it’s 6 years and not 4.

        “and he is always speaking in events about Judo teaching you to respect your opponent….”

        Judo also teaches you not to attack your friends and make them opponents just because they don’t want to go to the movie you want to see.

        Hilariously, Putin’s foreign policy is basically the opposite of basic Judo principles.

        Now I’m wondering why you languish away in the degenerate, decaying West, when you can come over here and live under the enlightened rule of your glorious father fig- I mean..Leader.

  1. Rubens Martinez

    Didn’t know of this newswire.com. This article is round-about way of admitting that Putin is a skilled and successful politician who has shown a malleable approach..hence why political parties from all over the world like different things he does.
    Centre-left,far-left,centre-right, far-right – all have admirers of him…and is testament to him and United Russia being centrists. In a country as diverse as Russia he has attempted to achieve stability through compromise by merging parts of its diverse political landscape of Nationalist,Liberal , Communist, Social -conservative. It’s shown in his choice of advisors and Presidential appointments….many of them massively critical of him in the past. Unlike the lame duck Obama, Putin doesn’t let pettiness get in the way of policy.

    Reply
    1. Mr. Hack

      ‘hence why political parties from all over the world like different things he does.’

      Especially the parties that run the EU and the US that have all, unanimously placed economic and political sanctions on Rusia for its stupid foreign policy messteps…or have you forgot? (it’s been so long now, going on two years…)

      Reply
      1. Jim Kovpak Post author

        The politicians in the rest of the world who like Putin’s style are those who wish they could steal like he and his friends do. Instead they have to face real competition from opposition parties and they have hostile media outlets that they can’t control.

  2. AndyT

    In “Needful Things” by Stephen King, the main villain – a devil-like character – has the ability to pander to different people in different ways – anyone sees in him what he/she wants him to be.

    These folks are somewhat giving Putin a similar power, even (almost) without any significant intervention of his – sometimes reality beats fantasy hands down.

    Reply
  3. stefanholander

    Putin’s crocodile tears after winning those rigged elections is one of the most telling and most disturbing images of his regime as far as I’m concerned. I bet the tears were sincere, which actually makes it worse. It’s like a boxer crying after winning he fight in which he knows the opponent was paid to lie down, a weight lifter full of steroids sobbing after outlifting a bunch of athletes he knows to be clean, or a sprinter overcome by emotion after winning a race after ordering his main competitors’ kneecaps to be broken. I don’t know how to analyze this thing psychologically, but the idea that ‘I’m the only way for Russia so I must win at any cost’ must reasonably be part of the thinking.

    Reply

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