David Cameron alleges CIA behind ‘Panama Papers’

PM says CIA fabricated the ‘Panama Papers’ as a propaganda attack aimed at destabilizing the UK

LONDON- British Prime Minister David Cameron lashed out at the US during a press conference on Friday, accusing them of fabricating the so called ‘Panama Papers’ leak in an attempt to discredit him personally and destabilize the United Kingdom.

“There was no corruption involved,” Cameron told reporters. “It’s obvious that this so-called ‘investigation’ wasn’t the work of trained journalists but agents of the CIA and the State Department.”

Although the Prime Minister was not directly named in the leaked documents containing information on the holders of offshore tax shelters, his father Ian Donald Cameron was found to have a tax haven in Panama valued at 25 million pounds. Other high profile figures either named or linked to individuals named in the leaked documents include Iceland PM Sigmundur Davíð Gunnlaugsson and even Russian president Vladimir Putin. All told, the Panama Papers allegedly contain information about approximately  140 politicians with connections to hidden offshore tax havens.

Cameron dismissed a correspondent’s comment that the diversity of names in the leak might cast doubt on his assertion that the story was a CIA fabrication aimed specifically at himself. He explained that the US government had “good motives” for conspiring against the UK.

“Surely no one believed that the US, a hegemonic empire, would let us off the hook for burning their White House in the War of 1812,” the PM told reporters. “The United Kingdom was once a great empire. It is still a great power. The Americans are afraid of a multipolar world and they don’t like our independent foreign policy. No, this information attack was aimed directly at us, and me personally.”

When asked by another correspondent as to what evidence the British government had to substantiate his claims, Cameron mentioned Wikileaks and then trailed off.

The PM also that even if the allegations were true, “it wouldn’t matter because people in every country do the same thing,” adding that “Many other countries have far more corruption than Britain- look at Russia, for example.”

Cameron then said that he would no longer answer any more questions about the leak or “that pig thing.”

Public reaction to the revelations in Britain has been modest thus far. State-funded media such as the BBC has mostly avoided any coverage of the story and has instead focused on issues abroad, such as the ongoing war against ISIS (banned in the UK) in Syria and Iraq. US officials have yet to comment on the PM’s allegations.

The Panama Papers refers to a cache of leaked records from the Panama-based law firm Mossack Fonseca. The story was first published on Sunday after a year-long investigation by the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists. In the week leading up to the story’s release, British PM David Cameron’s press secretary had publicly stated that the US “American English” media was preparing an “information attack” aimed at discrediting the British leader, and he also accused non-British journalists of having both “Anglophobia” and “Cameronophobia.”

 
UPDATE/CORRECTION- It has come to our attention that none of this happened, and that we have somehow managed to mix up the UK for Russia, and David Cameron for Russian president Vladimir Putin. We apologize to our readers for the mistake. We also recommend that our readers try DMT, but not during work hours.

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6 thoughts on “David Cameron alleges CIA behind ‘Panama Papers’

  1. Makhno

    Well, it did take Cameron about 6 goes to admit it, but better late than never I suppose. Although I’m hoping the 7th approach will involve retiring to his study with a glass of whisky and a revolver.

    However, despite what the My Enemy’s Enemy is My Friend types (MEEMFs?) who I’m forced to share a radical left with say, it does show that the UK’s relatively servile, conservative, EvilSorosMSM will happily go after the Tories when there’s enough blood in the water, unlike in the Really Nonexistent Socialism of Russia that they feel the need to defend at every turn.

    Reply
  2. Asehpe

    No Americans implicated… what more proof do you need that it’s all a big CIA conspiracy? Heh heh heh…

    Maybe Cameron will do the right thing, but Putin certainly won’t… what a pity.

    One wonders if such news penetrates at all in Russia. Maybe there are some people who do understand the reality of this situation? Who will draw the necessary conclusions? Or is everybody really so deeply hypnotized by the Russia media? Only time will tell…

    Reply
  3. TimoT

    I think Russia has about two years left before a large scale systemic crisis hits for real, unless the oil prices rise considerably. 13 out of the last 14 months the industrial production of Russia has been going down.

    Putin is simply a disaster for Russians, very similar to many African dictators. The systemic crisis could be the start of 2nd round of disintegration of Russia into smaller regions during the next decade.

    Reply
    1. Gabriel Gerard

      Putin’s fall is not going to be pleasant. The level of institutional rot and nepotism that’s occurred under his rule means his successors are going to have a hell of a time piecing things back together.

      Reply
    2. Jim Kovpak Post author

      That’s roughly the time frame I’ve been thinking about too. There’s a reason why I compare Putin to Mobutu.

      Had he stopped after his first term, things might have gone differently and he would have had a very good legacy. But his greed and paranoia made that impossible.

      Reply

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