Peak idiocy

So apparently today in Russia we had some kind of celebration of “traditional values.” According to the story, the ruling United Russia party developed a “family values flag,” which one may infer to be some kind of “answer” to the rainbow gay rights flag. Here it is, in all its glory:

familyflagLet’s unpack this, shall we?

First of all, the hashtag says “real family,” but I’ll get to that a bit later. What we immediately notice is that it is supposed to be couple consisting of a man and a woman, ostensibly heterosexual. Or are they? After all, these are silhouettes- there might be a cross dressing gay man or a butch lesbian playing the role of the “wife,” or “husband,” respectively! Could this be hidden gay propaganda?

Seriously though, what’s so craptacular about this flag is what is not pictured. I mean we’re talking about Russia here. There’s the bullshit fairy tale depicted on this flag, and then there’s reality.

-First let’s take apart that hashtag. “Real family?” Many Russian families are single-parent families. I guess they’re not real. But hey, they deserve it for getting divorced instead of tolerating a loveless, possibly abusive go-nowhere relationship “for the sake of the children,” right? Those families that do stay together can usually only afford one child.

-If family is so important in Russia, why do doctor’s recommend that new parents of children with disabilities essentially abandon them after birth to the orphanage system, specifically an orphanage system ill equipped to deal with special needs children until very recently?

-Russia is still rife with domestic violence. One reason for this ongoing problem is the authorities’ total denial of its existence. Pavel Astakhov, Russia’s children’s rights advocate and staunch supporter of arranged polygamous marriages of teenagers to middle-aged men, essentially denied that domestic violence exists and claimed that the family is the safest place to be, thus forever securing his place in the Dipshits in Power Hall of Fame.

-Oh yeah, did you catch that thing about arranged marriages of teenagers to middle aged men? Yeah, why don’t those families get their own flag? Unlike single-parent families and same sex couples, the Russian government enthusiastically approves of that sort of marriage.

-We see the family but we don’t know how it got started. Most likely the marriage proposal started with teenage Olga there telling her high school boyfriend “Zaiets, I’m pregnant.” Perhaps it wasn’t like that. Maybe Sergei there had a good job and Olga, a recent graduate, saw a “good provider.” Either way, thanks to an utter lack of proper sex education, the deal was sealed.

-We can’t see Sergei screwing his secretary or prostitutes when he goes on business trips. We don’t see Olga getting it on with her private English teacher. Either of those would make a much better flag.

-There are two sons and one daughter. This is because in mainstream, conservative Russian society, women are basically either fuckdolls for men’s entertainment or vessels for bearing children. They also do all the work at home and a considerable part of the bread-winning in some families. If little Lena doesn’t get pregnant at 16, she may learn to save herself until she finds the guy with the right amount of money to cocktrap. She will no doubt learn the manipulative arts from her mother.

-As for the sons, they will learn a lot from their father, even though their mother does most of the work of raising them. If they’re lucky, mom and dad will buy their way out of the army when they turn 18. If not, they’ll experience physical or possibly even sexual abuse at the hands of their fellow soldiers. If this shit in Ukraine drags on longer, they might find themselves sent to participate in “exercises in the Rostov region,” during which they will become “state secrets.”

-The flag ignores the fact that many Russian children are raised by same sex couples- their mother and their grandmother.

"In Russia, very many people are brought up by a same sex couple- mother and grandmother."

“In Russia, very many people are brought up by a same sex couple- mother and grandmother.”

-Speaking of same sex, on this flag we see nothing about Olga’s past same sex experiences or desires. I’m not alone when I say that a lot of Russian women I’ve known admit to either having same sex experiences or wanting to have them. Obviously the men are not too open about that, but when you look at their porn habits and their tendency to talk about male on male sexual acts when involved in arguments or slinging mud at Ukraine, you cannot help but wonder as to how many people are in the closet.

-And speaking of the closet, we don’t know that both people in this couple are heterosexuals. Perhaps one of them is utterly uninterested in the other, but Russia’s leadership doesn’t give a shit. Everyone needs to pair up and start pumping out kids, regardless of whether or not they can afford them. It’s not like it’s the government’s job to improve living standards so that people can raise more kids in better a better environment. Oh wait- it is their job to do that. In that case they’re just incompetent.

If you think I’m being hard on Russia, you’re either not familiar with reality here, in denial, or perhaps unaware that many of the problems here actually existed in many more developed countries unabated for decades until individuals and civic organizations brought them to light. Russia can deal with these problems in theory, but this would require a more vibrant civil society where citizens take the initiative. That is an anathema to the powers that be, so instead they deny the problems and have a parade about their “values” with this idiotic flag.


29 thoughts on “Peak idiocy

  1. Callum Carmichael

    As you probably heard, this was ripped off a homophobic French flag. The French version only has two children, a gril and a boy, but is otherwise similar.

    Oh, the French one is pink, but that’s way too gay for Russia. A “light blue” flag is a way better colour to send the right message.


      1. Callum Carmichael

        Doesn’t голубой literally signify gay in the right context? Or have Russians all become afraid to frame homosexuality in any terms that would be unacceptable to a 12 year old Call of Duty player?

      2. Jim Kovpak Post author

        Yeah that is a slang term for gay, though I haven’t heard it in a long time. Nowadays they just say гей or use slang terms like гомик or пидор.

      3. Goran Mihajlović

        Ah, “пидор,” the most derogatory version of gay people in Serbian is the same thing: “peder/педер.”

        Funny thing is the pink/blue colours were once flipped for boys and girls. Changes every now and again as the decades pass by. But hey, “traditional” according to only the previous generation or two at most is usually how it goes.

  2. Strykr9

    Oh god…and I thought Asian families where restrictive and conformed too much to gender roles…

  3. Siddharta

    America and even”Gayropa” have more “traditional” values than Russia but Russia has much more hypocrisy. It is the same in Islamic countries were all like to talk about “tradition” but tolerate that some old men have sex with children and secretly they are doing and dreaming of much more perverted stuff than Westerners. Russian women are seen as sluts everywhere outside of Russia and actually also in Russia. In my Vatnik phase many years ago many trolled me by mentioning that Russian some are easiest to get (talking about Russian women in Germany) and totally materialistic. Nobody in Germany sees Russia as “traditional” and “conservative” except of some naive pro-Putin right-wing losers, which I never met in real life but are invading forums with pro-Putin and anti-Ukrainian rant (bots ?, payed trolls? ) I guess the same is true for the rest of the world and it is just totally funny to see that Vatniks think that they are the bastion of conservative values and that the rest of the world is morally inferior to Russia XD

    1. gbd_crwx

      btw, I read somewhere in a cultural section of a newspaper in he 00-ties shere a Russian woman stating that some of the less desirable behaviour goes back to the skewed gender ratio post WW2. Basically that because of the lack of men it was the remaining ones was at advantage.

      Btw, do the Russian language distinguish between paternal and maternal grandmother?

      1. Siddharta

        If I am honest I don’t think that this has anything to do with that. I heard from my mother that much of that existed already in soviet times and even before but at least in rural places there was sometimes a strict sexual morale prior to the wild 90s. If I am not wrong western travelers in the 19/18 century mentioned already that Russian women are very liberal towards non-matrimonial sexual experiences and some of them were quite shocked.

      2. Jim Kovpak Post author

        All that depends on the classes of people usually. As for women today, it’s hard to comment because there are different audiences that will take it different ways.

        In general I see no problem with women’s sexuality being on par with men, and I think both sexes should at least be responsible and respectful of their partners.

        That being said, there is a large segment of Russian women who conform to a certain stereotype, and who can be incredibly prudish until they find someone they think they can get something from. It is kind of like sex as an exchange, which is something I’ve always found to be a real turn off.

        What you’re seeing in Germany is most likely that, i.e. women tying to find a way to remain there, or another factor, which is the away-from-home syndrome. At home, if they freely exercise their sexuality, they will be shamed as a slut. When they’re away from home, especially with foreigners, there’s no fear of that.

        Who knows? Perhaps the possible prevalence of same sex activity among Russian women is just another outlet to relieve sexual tensions in a “safe” way.

        Just another way this superficial cult of “traditional values” just ends up warping and twisting people’s minds. It would be better if women could have sex because they’re attracted to someone and actually want it, instead of suppressing those urges and saving it for a “provider” or acting like they have to be deeply in love with someone just to get off.

        That’s patriarchy, I guess.

      3. Jim Kovpak Post author

        It is skewed, but not as much as one would think. And one interesting thing is that Ukraine suffered a great deal of casualties during the war yet every time I’ve been in Ukraine I notice an obvious lack of females of child-bearing age compared to Russia. I have never been able to account for that.

      4. gbd_crwx

        Wellof course in a traditional society where women are not able to or not allowed to support themselves (at least after getting married), the economical factor in a marriage will of course be major one. This is what traditional mean. (Although I suspect many men who favour traditional relationships only care about the subservient woman part, seldom about being a responsible husband and a good breadwinner)

        About the lack of young Ukrainian women, is it possible they have gone somewhere else? I think it’s not unheard of for young women with ambitions to leave traditional societies.

      5. Jim Kovpak Post author

        The strange thing about Russia is that women here are more career-oriented, often more so than men. Some will not admit this, but when I first moved here most women told me the idea of being a housewife was repugnant to them. It is fitting that they were students of English, as most of my students always were. English is a path to advancement here and women seem more driven in that respect compared to the men.

      6. gbd_crwx

        Do you have any idea if they were studying to get ahead in Russia or to get away from Russia?

        Btw, the same seems to be the case here in Sweden too, especially in smaller towns in the countryside.

        @Siddharta: In Peter Englund’s book Poltava I think he mentioned that the view of Russian women as being prone to infidelity was common too. And this was in early 18th century.

  4. niceros

    Interesting that Kremlin’s “family values” shtick sounds just like GOP’s in America. (sorry if this is duplicate comment)

  5. jon

    Poor heterosexual families. They undoubtedly need a flag as an expression of their cause against the discrimination and injustice they have suffered for so long. Certainly, in
    Gayropa, they are becoming outcasts in society. In Holland the number of (reported) beatings on straight men by gays continues to increase. In France heterosexual families can no longer adopt, and heterosexuals are becoming increasingly fearful of coming out. In Sweden you can go to jail now for vaginal sodomy.

    Thank God for Mother Russia. Europe will be saved.

    1. Asehpe

      He he heh…!

      When a country like Russia, with such potential in human and economic terms, thinks it needs to lie about such obvious matters just to keep its citizens in line with the political agenda of their leadership… then we see a really sad thing indeed. Angry children doing angry things in grownup bodies. Poor, poor mother Russia!…

      1. Jim Kovpak Post author

        The problem is that if they unleash all that human potential, Putin and his friends won’t be in control of it. That’s why they have to be suppressed while the vatnik is rewarded and unleashed against the smartest and most talented people in Russia.

  6. Shalcker

    I’d also note that three kids allows them to get 2x maternal capital (for second and third child), which at 2015 rates goes 453 thousands roubles each (and makes somewhat easier to afford them).

    1. Jim Kovpak Post author

      Did you see last year when they were discussing cancelling the maternal capital? Also this doesn’t really help with things like affording a kindergarten, which is getting more difficult in Moscow. Then you’ve got to figure that a halfway decent apartment(i.e a concrete box with nothing in it) is going to run you something like 2 million rubles minimum even for a one room. If she has triplets, I suppose that would certainly help.

      Nearly forgot- Russia’s paid maternity leave is an excellent thing, but since many people here have black or mostly black salaries due to the idiotic flat tax, they don’t get much during that time.

      1. Shalcker

        Well, they were discussing but they still didn’t cancel it yet. It’s one of a few projects that actually worked.

        It’s certainly not enough for Moscow, but Moscow is one of priciest cities in the world. Moving to any of cities around it makes everything much more affordable. Still not enough to afford flat entirely from maternal capital; but every bit helps.

        Also, if future mother had any kind of government-related job, gas/oil related job, or job in one of many state banks – those generally go with white salaries and full maternity leave compensations. Just a matter of proper planning; take a white salary when given an option rather then bigger black one.

        Oh, and btw, apparently this banner is re-imagining of “La Manif Pour Tous” movement.emblem
        Remember those million-strong demonstrations against gay marriage in France? Those guys.

      2. Jim Kovpak Post author

        The problem is that one needs to move to Moscow to have any shot at social mobility. A lot of those state jobs, more likely to be things like teaching or medical, suck, especially in provincial Russia. A lot of these cities and towns still tend to have one or a few industries and nothing else, and lately plants have been shutting down in those regions. Not to mention many regions in Russia are also underwater in debt, which creates additional economic strain.

  7. Antoine Sans

    I admit I don’t know what to make of your article. It seems really harsh.
    I mean, obviously I’m not objective in this matter : I had a Russian girlfriend for two years and she was neither a gold digger, nor dumb, nor had any issue with her sexuality. And I’m having trouble thinking that I had basically found the russian unicorn (not impossible, mind you).

    On the other hand, I’ve spent 6 months in a russian university with about 80% girls, so I can’t entirely disagree with you. Especially about the high number of girls who are only child and have been raised by their moms. Going into armchair sociology territory here, but it seems pretty obvious that this has had a huge impact on the way russian women see relationships. The unbalance between the number of men and women along with the schizophrenia of “You must be married before 25 ! However, marriage has no meaning whatsoever, so you can just divorce 2 years later ? Oh you had children in the meantime ? Fuck them !”

    So yeah, I guess I have this weird conflict between my personnal experience and what I’ve seen around me. But hey, I can always agree that their “real family” thing is utter bullshit.

    1. Jim Kovpak Post author

      The harshness is largely a backlash to the bullshit, hypocritical, self-righteous grandstanding Russia has started engaging in as of 2013 or so. It’s like going after Bristol Palin for getting knocked up outside of marriage again- ordinarily a progressive person doesn’t condemn women for having sex outside of marriage, but a woman who stresses conservative values and advocates for abstinence only sex ed deserves to be called out for the hypocrisy.

      As for the behavior of women, it depends on certain “classes”, so to speak. For example, women who studied or spent a lot of time abroad make far better partners. I can count on one hand the number of Russian women I’d consider a long term relationship with, and all of them were well traveled and thus rejected a lot of the “traditional” bullshit.

      That beings said, one of the first impressions I got upon moving back to Russia is that outside of that more experienced community, there is a shit-ton of resentment between men and women here. Looking at the men for a moment, I was surprised to hear how often young males of 18 and 19 prefer to spend time with their male friends rather than with their girlfriends. It’s kind of a pop culture meme here too- the idea that the girlfriend is some conniving bitch who wants to control you.

      This could have something to do with the lack of knowledge about birth control which leads to early pregnancy and marriage. The guys feel that a woman is going to get pregnant and burden them sooner or later.

      Another factor may be their resentment for their mothers. I am far from the first person in Russia to point out the bizarre relationship between Russian men and their mothers.

      1. Antoine Sans

        I see what you mean. Pretty interesting topic, there are so many seemingly contradictory things happening in that area in Russia, it can be hard to understand.

        (And yeah, well educated and well traveled, that’s about right)

      2. Callum Carmichael

        I wonder how many Russian men have unironically uttered the phrase, “I’m not gay, I just prefer the company of other men”.

        Back when I was first learning Russian, one of the excercises from the Soviet-era textbook was a dialogue between two guys in the fantasy-USSR that exists only in undergrad language textbooks. Guy 1 is telling guy 2 about his new car and new girlfriend. When he gets to the girldriend, Guy 2 says, “Oh Vasya, you know I’m not interested in women. Why don’t you drive your new car up to my farm and ride my horse?”

  8. gbd_crwx

    First this:
    “We don’t see Olga getting it on with her private English teacher.”
    And then this:
    ” as most of my students always were. English is a path to advancement here and women seem more driven in that respect compared to the men. ”

    Is there something you are trying to tell us Jim? 🙂


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