A WOMAN WRITING ON THE INTERNET? I DON’T THINK SO!

This post is TOTALLY SATIRICAL and is dedicated to a certain stalker who apparently follows a particular female blogger/journalist.  Said stalker made the mistake of mentioning this blog in his most recent creepy rant. He has sown the wind…

Dear Russian/Ukrainian female writing things on the internet,

I noticed that you are writing things on the internet in English, and you sometimes talk openly about sex. You poor, misguided thing!  Obviously you must weigh 150kg, strictly following an all-ice cream diet regime as you watch old reruns of 90’s family sitcoms alone in your studio flat surrounded by a half dozen cats.  What a great career that PhD in gender studies bought you, am I right? Of course I’m right. I’m always right because I’m a traditional male. I am not wasting my precious life on this earth. I assure you, you soulless harlot!

I bet you went to an expensive college and learned about things like feminism and how to friendzone refined gentlemen while actively seeking out total assholes who constantly cheated on you when you weren’t looking.  Now look at you. So alone. So many cats.  Are you happy now?  I bet you aren’t. It’s obvious from your  usage of adverbs. You aren’t happy at all. I am truly happy.

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Unlike you, who are doubtless alone and totally unwanted by all men all over the world, I am quite satisfied with my life. I have spent time in Russia and I have had sex on a regular basis with multiple females who are  considered extremely attractive by conventional standards. I am an important person. My life has meaning and significance. It does, dammit!

No doubt you blog in an attempt to fight the patriarchy, but you cannot possibly win. The men’s rights movement is succeeding, and soon us men will never have to wash dishes again. Proper Russian and Ukrainian women will clean up after us in between passionate sex sessions. All the while you’ll be wasting your precious time on this earth blogging, bathed in the glow of your computer monitor surrounded by so many cats and empty ice cream cartons.

Too bad you’ll never have the great privilege of garnering my attention. My masculinity is beyond question. I am a well adjusted individual and I do not have serious issues with women or my mother, regardless of what my therapist says!  Did I mention you have lots of cats? I know you have lots of cats! I can tell by your writing style!

You are insignificant. I am important. People care about me. It’s cute how you try to fill the gaping hole in your life with writing. Well that and butter pecan ice cream. But no doubt in your cold $2500 a month studio apartment in NYC, you wish you could keep up with those attractive girls you no doubt make fun of with your equally feline-equipped friends.

This is totally normal. I don’t need medication. Everybody else has a serious mental disorder, not me!

PS I bet you have 36 cats. I’m right, am I not? I can tell by the way you use gerunds. So predictable.

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4 thoughts on “A WOMAN WRITING ON THE INTERNET? I DON’T THINK SO!

  1. Asehpe

    He-he-he. Boy, have I seen this type!… The MRA may have legitimate qualms, but one of their problems is how often they generate this kind of self-righteous, self-entitled personality who thinks it’s his duty to offend everybody else. They seem so naively oblivious of the similarity between them and the radical feminist types they are ‘fighting against’ (because, you know, it’s a WAR out there! Get DOWN in your trench or they’ll hit you with a can of moisturizer!)…

    Reply
    1. Jim Kovpak Post author

      The ORIGINAL MRAs, who focused on custody issues, had legitimate claims. At some point they got hijacked by all these self-entitled morons who spend all their time whining.

      For example they whine about men be drafted in wars in spite of their being no draft. They insist feminists don’t want this kind of equality, when in fact feminists have pushed for females in all military professions for quite some time. And again, it’s a volunteer military.

      What I can’t stand about MRAs is they keep lamenting the loss of traditional masculinity, yet they spend all their time whining about those mean women and they tend to be those who would come in last if they lived in a society with more traditional gender roles.

      As soon as you refuse to join their whiny pity party, suddenly you’re a “white knight” or “mangina.” Yeah, that’s brotherhood for ya.

      Reply
  2. Asehpe

    I’m not so much in touch with MRA history — I just once met one online who did make valid points about anti-male stereotypes, custody and alimony rights, and abortion, so I know they’re not 100% weirdo-crazies. Some actually deserve support. But boy — every time I looked up one of their youtube channels, thinking I might actually find someone intelligent to talk to … there comes the lithany of horrible, horrible things that feminism has done to men, to mankind, to humankind…

    My favorite is about how old-fashioned chivalry means women actually never had anything to complain about. Indeed! We not only opened doors and pulled out chairs for them, we gave our lives willingly to defend their virtue! So they were a pampered class, actually privleged with respect to men, and feminism is just some power-grabbing movement that wants all power rather than just most of it. If asked how come men never revolted against this horrible chivalry-based slavery, or why they never wanted to become women so as to enjoy their higher status, some of them will say (I kid you not) that men are simply naturally noble.

    I certainly think feminism can be criticised (see Chrstina Hoff-Sommers, Cathy Young [who by the way is Russian, I believe]…). But when I see types like that doing the criticizing, I think it has to be some kind of live parody. It’s mind-boggling. To them, it has to be a zero-sum game, and it is unthinkable that ‘the other side’ might be anything other than power-hungry evildoers.., I sometimes think it must be comfortable to live in such a simple world: there’s us, the good guys, and them, the bad guys. Nothing else in between.

    Reply

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