TODAY IS INTERNATIONAL JAGUAR APPRECIATION DAY!(Every day in Russia)
Russian writing fuel. The Russkiy Mir in a can. Jaguar. Baba Yaga. Today we remember this alco-energy beverage and the many men and women who died for our right to drink it.
Did you know?
-Jaguar is produced in the UK, but they aren’t allowed to sell it there because the UK is a signatory to the ban on chemical weapons.
-Jaguar is 7.2% alcohol by volume
-Jaguar is a great source of vitamin C. It also contains vitamins B6, B9, B1, and B12.
-Jaguar’s active ingredients include caffeine and taurine.
-Jaguar has never been associated with any fatalities in the UK.
-Claims that Jaguar contains Cesium 137 have never been substantiated.
-Jaguar is the official drink of the Russian Federation.
-Fydor Dostoevsky called Jaguar the “lifeblood of Russia.”
-When Vladimir Putin hosts his annual New Year’s party, over 50,000 cans of Jaguar are required.
-Jaguar can also be used as rocket fuel.
-Many rebels in the Donetsk and Lugansk People’s Republics are paid in Jaguar.
-Jaguar does not contain any GMOs(not a joke- it actually says this on the can).
-In spite of the name Jaguar, one of the extracts used in Jaguar actually comes from ordinary domesticated cats.
-If you stacked every can of Jaguar in Russia end to end, you’d have a lot of angry people wondering why you took their Jaguar.
-Moscow’s “humanitarian aid” convoys to Ukraine actually contain Jaguar.
-The red stripe on the Russian tricolor represents Jaguar.
-The Soviet Union collapsed because Gorbachev refused to import Jaguar.
-There are several towns in Russia which have been named after Jaguar. Jaguargorsk, Jaguarsk, and Jaguargrad.
-In provincial Russia, young men and women exchange cans of Jaguar as a token of their engagement.
GOING TO A PARTY THIS WEEKEND? DON’T FORGET THE JAGUAR!