So a new piece by Harley Balzer on The Moscow Times asks the rhetorical question, “Is Alaska next on Russia’s list?” Let me help you out there, Harley. No. No, Alaska is not next on Russia’s “list.” Yes, Russia has a number of pseudo-intellectual jerkoffs in high positions who like to engage in masturbatory fantasies about recapturing lost territories of the Russian empire, but this deserves no more credence than someone in Iran pontificating the restoration of the Achaemenid empire. Actually I’d give Iran better chances in that endeavor than Russia has.
“But what about the Crimea?” Oh yes, you mean the Crimea that Russia threw away its future for? The annexation throughout which the government continually denied the presence of Russian military forces? It has been theorized that the Kremlin has been planning the annexation of the Crimea for years, but it’s clear that they did not plan much further beyond that.
And what of “Novorossiya?” It’s pretty much doomed. There is violent infighting among the insurgents, there is no functioning economy, they have failed to open up a land route to the Crimea, and once again, Russia has continually denied that it has given any support to the rebels. Laughable as that claim may be, I think we can admit that any rising superpower that could truly annex part of the United States, much less threaten it, should at least be able to openly admit when it engages in military operations. You don’t see the US denying that its planes are bombing ISIS targets in Iraq and Syria. More importantly, since anyone who isn’t a complete moron knows that there was at least some Russian military involvement in the Donbass, in addition to obvious logistical and manpower support, we must conclude that in an indirect way, the Russian military was defeated by the Ukrainian military. That’s not a good record.
I really wish folks like Mr. Balzer wouldn’t take this kind of nonsense so seriously. As much as Russian “patriots” scream when the Western media portrays Russia as a threatening country or a force of destabilization, they secretly love it. They get off to it. Because they have nothing to offer their people but mindless hate, these folks love the idea that people in Europe and especially the US fear Russia. Of course most people, especially in the US, literally don’t give a fuck about Russia one way or the other, but sometimes you wouldn’t know that when you read some of the more sensationalist publications out there.
I don’t see anything wrong with highlighting the wacky beliefs of certain Russian figures, if only to show what kind of clowns are allowed, via their connections, to achieve high positions in Russian politics, but taking them seriously only gives them validation they don’t deserve. The only way Russia is going to invade any part of the US is if they make that the plot of another Call of Duty: Modern Warfare game.