Idiotic Irony

What is worse- mainstream American conservatives or hardcore libertarians? Personally I choose the latter, because if there’s one wonderful thing about your average mainstream American conservative it is that their anti-intellectual attitude makes them more tolerable. When confronted with too many facts their likely response will be something like, “I don’t know ’bout all them big words. All I know is what I read in mah Bah-bul.” They are constantly trying to convey this image of simple, humble people with a small-town mentality. By contrast, every libertarian is sure he’s got the whole world figured out from the moment he watches his first Zeitgeist documentary, reads an article from Lew Rockwell, or spends sufficient time in his subreddit circle jerk.  Whereas mainstream conservatives sort of throw up their hands and declare that “people need to start obeyin’ Gawd’s law,” libertarians already know all the answers in spite of the fact that there is no known society or country in history which has been based on libertarian principles and succeeded as a result. In fact one is hard-pressed to find any countries that even tried anything like what most libertarians recommend, and zero successful societies have ever arisen based on the idiotic extreme libertarian strain known as “anarcho-capitalism.”  

Truly the saddest thing about libertarians, however, is their love for RT and to a lesser extent, Vladimir Putin.  These  are people who decry such examples of government tyranny as the US Postal Service and public libraries, and yet they reject the “mainstream” corporate American media in favor of Russian state-owned media, both as consumers and as sources and pundits working for said state-owned media. Yes, I’m aware that libertarians will object and claim that America’s media is somehow “state-run” because the FCC exists, but anyone making this argument basically reveals that they have absolutely no idea what they are talking about. American media, both for news and entertainment, has been for some time a viciously cut-throat battleground over profits. The next time you see an ad for a new reality show and you’re shocked by how banal it seems, realize that this was most likely intentionally chosen for shock value because outrage equals ratings.  RT, by contrast, is entirely state-owned. Big government, my friends. 

Moreover, Russia as a country might as well be the Soviet Union by libertarian standards. Her main industries are mostly stated-owned, its media companies almost wholly so.  While the Russian government is in fact extremely anti-Communist at its core, outward displays appropriating and glorifying the imagery of the Soviet Union and sometimes even Josef Stalin are commonplace. Libertarians often mock liberals, insinuating that they worship the state and that Obama is their “Dear Leader,” yet they flock to a state-run media outlet of a country which is currently run by a man in his third term as president. If Obama made a public statement with words to the effect of, “You know, the USSR was a vital ally of the US during the Second World War and we should acknowledge the sacrifices of its people,” the whole right wing of America and libertarians especially would collectively shit so many bricks we could build a goddamned great wall from coast to coast. Putin’s famous statement lamenting the collapse of the USSR doesn’t seem to faze these people though.

It’s something of a mystery, really. I mean I understand why RT and other Russian outlets court libertarians. These people never stop running their ignorant mouths about how America is a tyranny and soon we’ll have to water the tree of liberty with the blood of tyrants. Incidentally it’s actually a poor strategy on the part of the Russians, because while you do reach a large audience, it’s ultimately a useless one. It is not made of up people whose opinions are respected and taken seriously in the US and other Western countries. Having acknowledged this, however, one must wonder as to what the libertarians get out of the relationship. Are they cognizant of the fact that they prefer the state-run media of a country which violates every aspect of their stated beliefs? 

You know what? I’m starting to think it’s not a mystery. Turns out they’re just fucking stupid. The reason, I suspect, has to do with a faulty heuristic which is all too popular these days. Allow me to demonstrate a valid process of critical thinking when it comes to media, and thereafter I shall compare it to the methodology used by RT fans.  

Non-dipshit Critical Thinking Drill

STEP ONE: You see that a claim has been made. Because you are not a moron, you understand that all claims must stand or fall on the merit of the evidence advanced to support them.  

STEP TWO: Evaluate the available evidence. What is the source of the story? What sources are cited in the story? Does this seem to go against the consensus of what you have seen regarding this story as of late? If so, does it provide any compelling new evidence to justify this? Do any of the sources work for think tanks or PR agencies? If so, does the information they say deviate from the expected angle of their employer or client, or is it perfectly in line? 

STEP THREE: After having evaluated the evidence, decide whether to reject or accept the claim, but keep your mind open to change if new evidence to the contrary should be uncovered down the road.  

Dipshit-based Method

STEP ONE: You don’t like big government. The media doesn’t report on news the way you think it should, ergo the media might as well be the government. Label this “the mainstream media,” and make it a point to tell everyone you encounter that you don’t believe its lies. 

STEP TWO: Uncritically accept anything from any media source that is saying the opposite of whatever the “mainstream media” is saying on any particular story at the moment. Keep in mind that occasionally you will find a mainstream media story which seems to support your viewpoint. When that happens, that particular story or report is trustworthy and can be accepted as evidence. Just keep in mind that no matter how many of these trustworthy stories you discover, it still does not change the fact that the mainstream media is totally untrustworthy.  

STEP THREE: Based on your new form of bizarro-world logic, proceed to share every idiotic GMO/Vaccine/ Planet/Infowars/Truther article or meme you can find on your Facebook wall, and don’t forget to forward those chain e-mails to everyone you can find. Remember, if you tell enough people, one day they will all wake up, and then…something will…happen. You are just like Neo. Go and wake those people up!  

This explains how I encounter phenomena such as libertarians informing me that all this talk of authoritarianism and crackdowns on rights in Russia is just mainstream media propaganda. The American government is a “centrally-planned” socialist state because of the Federal reserve, yet RT, owned by a state which also owns numerous other enterprises and which also has a central bank is totally trustworthy and would never lie to foreigners halfway across the world. Yes that’s right folks, Russia has a central bank, far more state involvement in the economy, those scary internal passports, and its police on the street have been paramilitary for decades, only recently changing their name from “militia” to “police.”  So it stands to reason that they should also have the Illuminati, Masons, a Zionist Occupied Government, and that they are of course part of the global NWO. Oh…Wait. They’re not? Why not? Oh because they criticize Obama and that sends you into a masturbatory frenzy?  How does that even make sense?

Communist used to be able to point to the USSR as a socialist state surrounded on all sides by enemies. That made sense because depending on how you look at it, the USSR at one time or another at least actually espoused socialist ideas. Yet today American libertarians are convinced that the one county whose media they can trust, the one country that is standing up to the hated-NWO and its evil socialist plot, happens to be a state which reflects virtually none of their most cherished beliefs and provides a far lower level of personal freedom than the tyrannical US. And all those advantages over America that Russia can still boast, mostly leftovers from the Soviet period such as paid vacation, maternity leave, and free medical care, all happen to be things which libertarians revile. If that’s the state whose media you prefer and which you admire in spite of the fact that its society, government, and culture is diametrically opposed to your own beliefs, you are a fucking moron, period.

I guess in the end this tells you a lot about libertarians and other anti-NWO warriors out there. They are fucking lazy, often both physically and mentally. Rather than do actual research, which takes time and money, and rather than evaluate claims individually based on their evidence, they prefer to uncritically accept things which validate their worldview because it makes them feel smart and unique. Few of them are willing to actually drag their ass away from a computer and attend a protest though. Fewer are willing to do that and propose actual solutions to the world’s problems.  Ask any of these people what we should do to fight this “NWO” and the answer is always the same. Listen to this guy, watch these videos, and spread the word. This laziness is why people will uncritically accept information from a state-run media source owned by a government whose values and actions clearly violate all of their values. Then again, if they do this perhaps they never really had values in the first place. 



1 thought on “Idiotic Irony

  1. KR

    Very well written. I’ve been confused by the apparent sympathy of libertarians in the US and UK for Russia, but as you say i think in major part its because they see the US and UK states as essentially liberal and they hate that. Add in the POTUS is black as libertarianism seems to be essentially a white philosophy – are there black libertarians – i guess there must be some but never really heard of them. are one of my personal dislikes – someone i know described them as acting as a canary in a coal mine. More like a defective burglar alarm – any site that can print that N.Korea is actually a great country persecuted by the West or that Tianamen Square was a CIA plot is really only fit for metaphorical use in the smallest room in the house.


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