Let me be perfectly honest. This post has nothing to do with Russia. It’s theoretically possible to connect it to Russia and the bullshit about Russia, but this would require a lot of linguistic gymnastics and serious stretching of the imagination. I started this blog for cathartic reasons, to call things the way I see them and be able to say that I put my point of view out there. I saw that much of the reporting on Russia ranges from ignorant to deliberately dishonest, so I call that out. In a similar vein, I see other trends on the internet and instead of just grumbling about these things among friends it makes more sense to write about it. Yes this is a blog dedicated primarily to Russian issues, but it is also a part of the internet and everything which goes with that. In short, please bear with me here.
So this morning I go to check my news feed and I encounter this: “18 things females seem not to understand(because of female privilege.)” Oh yeah, it’s one of those articles. For those readers who aren’t familiar with the trend, there’s this thing they call the “Men’s Rights movement” or “Manopshere.” From what I understood, the former movement was originally a more or less righteous cause which focused on protecting father’s rights in custody matters. Thanks to the corrupting power of the internet, it has grown into something much worse, a sort of leaderless cult which attracts bitter, cowardly males who are unable to cope with the crises of our modern capitalist society and thus blame women, particularly feminists, for all our problems.
You might ask as to why I chose this particular topic instead of some other non-Russia-related topic. Part of the reason is merely coincidental, coupled with the fact that I’m sick of hearing about Ukraine at the moment. The other reason is that this is an issue I feel very strongly about. I have a lot of experience reading the crap these “MRA’s”(Men’s Rights Advocates) produce, and I have also had the misfortune to engage with several self-proclaimed MRAs or their sympathizers online. Based on my experience with them, I find them to be cultish, dishonest, two-faced, bitter, whiny, self-entitled, and immature, to say the least. Disagree with them and you are a “white knight” or “mangina”(at least on the internet, as opposed to in person). “You’re only disagreeing to impress man-hating feminists in the futile hope that one of them will sleep with you. What’s that? You’re happily married? Well one day you’ll see! You’re marriage will come crashing down just like mine did, but it was totally not my fault! My marriage failed because all women are greedy, manipulative whores, and by God you will see! You will rue the day you foolishly discarded our unsolicited advice and rejected our red pill!”
If only it stopped there. One minute they’re talking about what “chivalrous gentlemen” they are, the next minute they’re telling some woman online to “get raped.” They can’t decide whether men “fighting for their countries” during wars is a great honor or an unfair burden forced upon them by the “matriarchy.” The only thing worse than a dogmatic cult is a dogmatic cult whose ideological line is rife with mutually exclusive contradictions.
Put on your rubber boots. We’re going in. I just want to say one thing first: If this article was intended as a parody, I am invoking Poe’s Law. The article strongly resembles those routinely given by the various MRA types I have encountered over the years, so much so as to stand as a realistic portrayal of those views even if the author’s intent was satire.
“1. Female privilege is being able to walk down the street at night without people crossing the street because they’re automatically afraid of you.”
Hmmm…This complaint sounds familiar, but it is usually about a different social issue. But I’ll ignore that to point out that we already have one of the many wacky contradictions of the Manosphere here. See, poor oppressed men are always pointing out how there are good reasons to exclude women from certain jobs, due to physical differences. These types also love to invoke “science” or “logic” despite the fact their claims have little to do with either. That being said, does it make sense in their worldview for people to cross the street because they are afraid of a woman? Do women commit most violent assaults on the street? Do they commit the most muggings? Like with most MRA complaints, I’m not sure what the whiner wants. Are we supposed to start fearing women, as a physical threat that is? Or are we supposed to affirm and praise gender differences, as MRA types also seem to want? This is the first item and I’m already horribly confused.
2. Female privilege is being able to approach someone and ask them out without being labeled “creepy.”
This is a perfect example of how MRA types can’t help but to reveal things about themselves which tell you about their real motives. The author, Mark Saunders, is apparently very upset about being labeled “creepy.” Oh but I’m sure it’s not really about him! No woman ever called him creepy! He’s just upset for all those other poor, misunderstood guys who are unjustly labeled as creepy!
If you’re a male between 17-25 reading this, let me give you some advice. When you approach women in social situations they will pass judgment on you, and many times that judgment may not be fully accurate. It may be unfair. You pass unfair judgments on people too. We all do; we cannot help it. If you find out that a significant amount of women you approach to ask out are calling you “creepy”, the problem is most likely you. If they are saying this straight to your face, the problem is almost definitely you, barring the possibility that the particular woman who said this just has an extremely abrasive personality. You need to analyze what you’re doing and how you’re doing it, and then radically change or eliminate that behavior. Do not go to Reddit or some other forum full of “nice guys” complaining about the same problem. The natural reaction to such echo-chambers is the feeling that you’re not alone, and that other people suffer from the same thing. What you need to remember, however, is that when these guys tell their own stories, you’re only hearing that side of it. A guy on the internet will talk about how all he did was walk up to the girl in the bookstore and ask her if she was free for coffee, and she rudely shot him down with a snarky commment. What he’s probably leaving out is the part about constantly going to that particular bookstore when she’s there and not-so-subtly staring at her while pretending to peruse the Parenting Self-Help bookshelf because it’s strategically positioned opposite her station at the cashier’s desk.
Every guy at some point in his life may be “creepy” or awkward. Sometimes it’s unavoidable. If people are consistently describing you with these terms, however, it means you need to change, not them.
3. Female privilege is being able to get drunk and have sex without being considered a rapist. Female privilege is being able to engage in the same action as another person but be considered the innocent party by default.
Getting drunk and having consensual sex don’t lead to being called a rapist. While females can and do rape males, it stands to reason that it would be very difficult for the woman to accomplish this while she is drunk, as opposed to vice versa. If a woman actually gets drunk and has consensual sex with a man, there is no “innocent” or “guilty” party; that implies that it wasn’t consensual.
Indeed, society is not kind to male victims of rape, regardless of whether they are raped by females or other males. But who is responsible for this? The idea of being dismissive to male rape victims is largely bound up in male-dominated society, which says that real men don’t get raped, period. This is just one of many examples where an MRA complains about something which is a product of traditional patriarchy.
4. Female privilege is being able to turn on the TV and see yourself represented in a positive way. Female privilege is shows like King of Queens and Everybody Loves Raymond where women are portrayed as attractive, competent people while men are shown as ugly, lazy slobs.
Got that folks? Only females get to see women portrayed in positive ways on TV. Men are never portrayed positively. Females- always positively.
Seriously though, if you turn on the TV and watch King of Queens or Everybody Loves Raymond, I think your problem is something other than “female privilege.” Yeah, the “dumb dad” trope is pretty old, but as usual MRA’s fail to peek behind the curtain and discover why sitcoms use tropes like that. Ironically this is almost identical to “pop culture critic” Anita Sarkeesian’s failure to understand why tropes like “the manic pixie dream girl” aren’t fully developed characters with their own deep-rooted wants, needs, and goals.
Unlike Mark Saunders, I actually did some research into this, which confirmed what I already suspected. Everybody Loves Raymond created by a man, named Philip Rosenthal. Browsing the list of episodes, you can clearly see that the writers are overwhelmingly male. King of Queens seems to be the same deal, i.e. produced by men.
The “dumb dad” trope is most likely rooted in several factors, all of which are features of a society with “traditional” gender roles and none of which have anything to do with feminism. Indeed, the trope clearly pre-dates the movement which is predominately associated with feminism. And since there is no evidence that any significant portion of these writers are, or ever have been feminists, the idea that these portrayals have anything to do with feminism or some kind of female privilege is laughable. In “traditional” 20th century society, the man is the “head of the household,” which is to say an authority figure. Comedy is often produced by lampooning authority figures. The TV dad’s incompetence often falls into those “traditional” roles the MRA’s lament so dearly. He’s generally a whiz at “man” stuff like bowling, fishing, or quoting sports statistics, while he’s extremely helpless in the kitchen or while watching the children. Lastly, this kind of television is based on advertising. Housewives are a major consumer group for a wide range of products, and thus promoting the housewife as the real power behind the throne and manager of the castle appeals to a demographic which advertisers are trying to reach.
5. Female privilege is the idea that women and children should be the first rescued from any sort of emergency situation. Female privilege is saving yourself before you save others and not being viewed as a monster.
This is another thing that MRA’s will bring up constantly, almost word for word. What do you call those groups or movements of people who basically say the same things, almost verbatim? Oh right, cults.
Think real hard now- How often do you hear this phrase about “women and children first” in real life? I don’t mean in a movie or book, I mean in real life. When are we actually told this in a real situation? The most common situation I can think of where this might be an issue is air travel, and of course when you travel on an airplane they don’t say anything about evacuating women and children first. In fact, the closest they get is when they describe the procedure for putting on the oxygen masks, and they clearly state that adults should secure their own mask first, before helping any children around them.
Once again, the idea of men sacrificing themselves for the sake of women is rooted in traditional, patriarchal society, the same thing these people tell us was so much better than “feminized” Western society. I might also add that the mother sacrificing her life for her children is another trope common in mythology, literature, folklore, etc.
6. Female privilege is being able to decide not to have a child.
Uh…Yeah. Only females have the privilege of deciding not to have a child. Men are not able to decide not to have a child. Legislatures are always inventing new ways to force men to have children against their will. Young, unmarried men are constantly being asked as to when they plan to have children. As said man gets older, he will constantly be reminded about his “biological clock,” and how he must conceive before it’s too late. We are constantly bombarded by the media about career men who are burnt out and wish they could have just settled down, had a kid, and raised it at home.
7. Female privilege is not having to support a child financially for 18 years when you didn’t want to have it in the first place.
Women are often lectured about the consequences of having sex. I’m not saying that injustices regarding child support don’t happen, but the fact is that men need to be held accountable for their behavior as well. You know ahead of time that if you knock a woman up, she has the choice of having the baby. You have the ability to learn all about different forms of contraception. It’s important to remember that even if the man has to pay support for the baby, the woman is still stuck supporting the kid as well, with 9 months of pregnancy and the joy of childbirth as well. You can throw out all the unfair child support judgments you like, but you cannot claim that the woman doesn’t have to support the child while the man does.
8. Female privilege is never being told to “take it like a man” or “man up.”
Why would someone tell a female to “man up?” Instead women are told to act like a “lady”, be more “feminine”, and to not act “like a bitch.” And once again, I have to ask as to what MRA’s actually want. These are the same people constantly complaining about how their “masculinity” is under attack, yet they then go on to complain about the very gender standards they seem to miss. Please decide, MRA’s, do you want to be proud of your “traditional manhood,” or not? I know for a fact feminists can’t stand phrases like “take it like a man” or “man up.”
9. Female privilege is knowing that people would take it as a gravely serious issue if someone raped you. Female privilege is being able to laugh at a “prison rape” joke.
Uuuuh… Am I supposed to infer that the author thinks there’s something wrong with rape being seen as a gravely serious issue? And if cases like that of Steubenville have taught us, rape isn’t always seen as a gravely serious issue, particularly when the rapists are sports stars. Also are females the only people allowed to laugh at prison rape jokes? Do only females laugh at such jokes? Do only females write such jokes? I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but I can’t think of the last time I heard a female joke about prison rape. I can easily remember a time when I heard a male joking about male-on-male rape. It was Dave Chappelle. Now that I think about it, Louis CK has made similar jokes about raping males.
10. Female privilege is being able to divorce your spouse when your marriage is no longer working because you know you will most likely be granted custody of your children.
It’s true that women tend to be granted custody of their children, but this doesn’t necessarily make divorce a great economic option for them. After all, they may get some kind of support, but they are stuck with the children. And what could possibly be the explanation for so many women being favored in getting custody, especially considering how many judges are both male and usually pretty old? Could it have anything to do with the pervasive idea that women are natural nurturers who are superior at child rearing? Is that an idea promoted by feminists?
11. Female privilege is being able to call the police in a domestic dispute knowing they will take your side. Female privilege is not having your gender work against where police are involved.
You know this is just anecdotal, but my mother once had to call the police over a domestic violence dispute in which she was shoved into a wall so hard as to dent it. The rather apathetic policeman took the side of my stepfather and left him with my mother in the house despite having been informed that there was a loaded .357 magnum in the house. In a lot of societies, domestic violence is seen as a “private matter,” and not so serious.
12. Female privilege is being able to be caring or empathetic without people being surprised.
First we have yet another example of an MRA(or fellow traveler) complaining about something which may not even happen on any significant basis. Second, I will never believe that any MRA or MR sympathizer is “caring or empathetic.” Their non-stop whining and sense of entitlement belies any statement to the contrary.
13. Female privilege is not having to take your career seriously because you can depend on marrying someone who makes more money than you do. Female privilege is being able to be a “stay at home mom” and not seem like a loser.
Again, isn’t this what these “traditional” manly men want? The man is the provider and the woman stays home, raises the kids, cooks the meals, cleans the house, and is totally at the financial mercy of the man, who hopefully doesn’t abandon her for some twenty-year-old when he feels he’s got something to prove to himself? That’s certainly the ideal relationship for many losers who make their way to Russia looking for love. Luckily most of them either fail miserably or get picked off by the most manipulative, conniving gold-diggers imaginable.
Also, what’s the deal with stay at home moms being called losers? I though the feminists who dominate our society ridicule stay at home moms. Or do they exalt them? For fuck’s sake, which is it?
14. Female privilege is being able to cry your way out of a speeding ticket.
I looked in vain for a footnote with a link to studies showing how often this actually happens. Who’s to say a man can’t cry his way out of a speeding ticket? Give it a try, Men’s Rights warrior! Incidentally, I managed to get let off with warnings several times just because I drove a work truck and had to get to a particular construction site.
15. Female privilege is being favored by teachers in elementary, middle and high school. Female privilege is graduating high school more often, being accepted to more colleges, and generally being encouraged and supported along the way.
Oh you’re going to provide some statistical evidence to back all this up right? No? Oh. Okay. Apparently the thing about graduating high school and getting accepted to college may be true, based on statistics, but this doesn’t necessarily mean this is because they are female. Correlation does not equal causation.
16. Female privilege being able to have an opinion without someone tell you you’re just “a butthurt fedora-wearing neckbeard who can’t get any.”
Since being a fedora-wearing neckbeard isn’t associated with females, whose bear-growing capability is sup-par compared to men, it’s not surprising, no “privilege” that females can express opinions without being called thus. What they often do get called, on the other hand, is bitch, cunt, bossy, pushy, whiny, hysterical, etc. Often times men and women are judged differently for basically doing the same thing. A man loudly expressing his opinion is assertive and confident, no matter how stupid or uninformed that opinion may be. If he puts some emotion into it, he’s “passionate” too. A woman doing the same will likely be called a bitch by someone, even if she’s stating objective facts. When men do get called on their bullshit, it’s usually not tied to their sex. They’re blowhards, loudmouths, etc.
Also this point is a lot like the one above about being called creepy. Look, I know that not all men who think this way are fedora-wearing neckbearded perma-virgins. Some have girlfriends, some may be in relationships. Some are merely reacting to some of the dumber actions of Tumblr social justice warriors who lay claim to feminism. But the fact is that a lot of these guys sound incredibly similar to people who are butthurt fedora-wearing neckbeards who can’t get any.
Once again, young guys out there, let me share some wisdom with you. Men who spend any significant time complaining about women, have problems with women. Pretty much all heterosexual men at some point in their life will have problems with women and relationships; indeed most of us start out that way. And when we are having those problems, we talk about it. Once you’re in a healthy relationship or you’re satisfied with your general relations with women, you stop talking about it. Why would you? It’s not just for the guys with decent girlfriends or wives either. This is why you should always doubt some of those MRA-types who pose as “pickup artists” who complain about women while telling you how many lays they’ve got under their belt. If you’re really going out every weekend and having sex with different women each time, you really have no reason to launch into long-winded rants about how evil women are, period.
17. Female privilege is being able to talk about sexism without appearing self-serving.
Maybe the problem is that your MRA ideology is so fucking self-serving.
18. Female privilege is arrogantly believing that sexism only applies to women.
Nobody says it does, but the fact is that sexism against females is more destructive, and its by-products also negatively affect men.
Well there you have it. More proof that the self-appointed defenders of masculinity are nothing but whiny, self-entitled lazy-asses. I could go on for pages in order to explain what my beef with these people really is, but suffice to say here that I think the pervasiveness of the internet, particularly forums is a major factor in this kind of behavior. In the past, you couldn’t so readily choose your company, which would force you to interact with a variety of people who held radically different views from yours. These days if you’re having a problem in your love-life, you can easily find a forum of people who claim to have the exact same problem, and then you can all support each other in an echo chamber where you collectively determine that the problem isn’t you, but rather everyone else. As a young man I was essentially your typical “nice guy.” I was very bitter and angry for many years, but I managed to conquer that mindset because I’m part of a lucky generation whose default solution for life problems doesn’t start with “To the INTERNET!” I discussed these issues with people face to face, and often got answers that I didn’t really want to hear, but I’m better for it.
And yeah, this had nothing to do with Russia, though from time to time Western jerkoffs do turn up here looking for the perfect woman who will ignore all of their flaws and want nothing more to play the role of surrogate mother/sex doll. So as to avoid unexpected shock, in the future I may designate something like “No Russia (day of the week)” or “Off topic Rant.” Hell, I might call it “Bullshit without Russia.”*
* Don’t you even think of making a Yakov Smirnoff joke here. For if you do I shall become death, the destroyer of worlds, the scourge of God, and the terror of this world. I will rain down fire and brimstone down upon thee and everything that you hold dear until there is nothing left! Nothing!