Russian Delusional Disorder

Russian Delusional Disorder is a condition where the sufferer, usually a non-Russian living in their home country, experiences bizarre delusions about Russia.  While little is known about the disorder, it has been determined that exposure to Russia either in person or on the internet is definitely a causal factor.  Some researchers believe that the main factor which ends up triggering the disorder is a short, touristic trip to Russia, often between the victim’s teenage years and early 20’s.

Symptoms include:

-Making inaccurate comparisons between Russia and the USA

-Expressing great praise for Vladimir Putin

-One’s only positive experience with a female was with a Russian woman, who was most likely simply being polite to a foreigner

-Falling in love with any Russian female over the slightest interaction

-Lecturing others on things you know nothing about(e.g. Russia)

-Bizarre right-wing comments demanding that Russians carry out the ridiculously authoritarian actions which are beyond the pale in your home country

Sufferers are often detected when they post comments on various news sites.  The following are examples of statements made by various individuals who are afflicted to differing degrees.

“Yes. I Fully Agree and believe this. I love this Leader.”

For some reason this sufferer lists his location, including his city and state, in every comment he makes on a certain Russian English-language publication’s social network page.  While he is in the USA, his state and city have been removed from the quote.  As the reader may have guessed, the beloved “leader” is none other than Vladimir Putin. Why he would have any reason to love Putin and not, say, Omar al-Bashir of Sudan is beyond unknown to science.  Let there be no doubt, Putin really doesn’t do much of anything. He spends his time in endless photo opportunities and publicity stunts.  He gets credit for laws which he approved yet didn’t dream up, which is actually bad for Putin since said laws are written by complete retards.  It has been hypothesized that sufferers who love Putin, despite claiming skepticism in the Western media, actually fall for the Putin hype hook, line, and sinker.

“Pathetic traitors, they will regret leaving a rising Russia for a falling America.”

This individual, possibly a teenage gamer based on observations of his Facebook profile, is referring to Russian gays and lesbians who were reportedly seeking asylum in the West and specifically the United States.  Like many sufferers of the disorder, he takes it upon himself to decide who is a traitor to Russia.  The very Spenglerian view that Russia is rising while the US is heading for collapse is common among sufferers.  The afflicted are typically unmoved by the fact that this theory was first advanced around 1918, and that it regained popularity in the early 90’s(around the time of the “culture wars), thus making it well over twenty years old in recent times.  This alone would not mean much were it not for the fact that throughout this time, the United States has still maintained higher living standards than Russia.

“PUTIN 2016 !!!!”

Again we see another outburst of requited love for Vladimir Putin.

And finally, though it may have nothing to do with Russian Delusional Disorder, the following quote did appear in the comments section of a Russian English-language publication.  The person’s name has been removed from the citation.

I am warning your newspaper that i, currently the last male Merovingian, descendant of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene, descendant of Napoleon Bonaparte and Betsy Balcombe, will reveal this truth, secret of the Temple and of the highest graded Freemasons, because the U.S. government owes me 25 million dollars for a deal made with the Executive Office of the President of the United States which included the tip leading to the execution of Osama bin Laden. Regards, (NAME WITHHELD).

Thus far researchers have not been able to make anything of this.

 

 

 

 

 

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